What Advice Do You Wish You Had Heard Before You Started Breastfeeding?

This is a question I hear quite often, so I thought I would share my favorite tips, as well as share the amazing comments we received from our Facebook page when we asked our fellow breastfeeding mamas!

My Top 5 Pieces of Advice Every Woman Should Have Before She Breastfeeds:

1. Find a lactation consultant in your area before you have your baby. 

No one should have to google this information at 3:30 in the morning when you feel like your nipples are going to fall off.  Instead, spend a few minutes on the computer, in between your stroller and diaper research, to find an international board certified lactation consultant who seems like a really great person. Check out her Yelp reviews and ask your friends who they would recommend. 

2. Take a quality breastfeeding class so that you know what the ‘norm’ should look like. 

 This will help you to discern when you may need extra support from a lactation consultant or support group.  As new parents, we have no idea how often our baby should be peeing/pooping during those first few weeks and what a comfortable latch feels like.  A prenatal breastfeeding class should give you the basics and a nice foundation for what breastfeeding should look like for you.  It should get you EXCITED about breastfeeding, not fuel your fears.

3. Find a breastfeeding support group in your neighborhood and check it out before having your baby. 

 Find out where to park and what the flow is of the group.  Do these women look like ones you want to hang out with?  Does the support group leader seem friendly and non-judgmental?  In those first few weeks after having my son, I remember feeling quite anxious about bringing him to an unfamiliar place.  I wish I had stopped by my local breastfeeding support group, while pregnant, so that I would have been less timid to stop by when we were having breastfeeding challenges. 

4. Plan to spend time figuring out your breastfeeding rhythm with your little one.   

 Which position is most comfortable for the two of you? How long does it take your baby to have a good feeding session?  How often does your baby like to feed?  Every mother/baby pair is unique and it is important for you to figure out what works for the two of you.  Plus, there is a reason that babies breastfeed for about 45 minutes per feeding session in those first few weeks…. It is nature’s way of helping mom slow down, relax, and enjoy her baby.  When else have you had the opportunity to slow down your pace of life and be completely present?  It’s a gift!

5. Know that while breastfeeding is natural and normal, there can be some hiccups along the way, as with anything having to do with raising a child. 

Surround yourself with supportive people who can cheerlead you through the difficult times and celebrate your successes.  A challenge does not equal a failure.  It just means that we need some support to meet our goal.

Here are the tips that were shared on our Facebook page:

Gina: Drink things other than water, like coconut water

Krystyn: It will get easier

Brittany: I knew hardly anything about breastfeeding before I gave birth.  My mom and my husband’s mom didn’t breastfeed.  I just wish I would’ve had someone with any kind of experience to help me.  I had flat nipples and a lip-tied baby.  I needed the support!

Erin: I was in shock that I was so tender at first.  That would have been great to know… then I wouldn’t have assumed that I was doing something wrong and freaked out.

Kelli: It’s natural, but isn’t always easy for everyone.  It gets better with time, patience and support!

Rena: Best advice I ever got: The two of you have to learn one another.  It’s a learning process for both of you, so go easy on yourself.

Kim: Don’t watch the clock…watch the baby and go by his/her cues.

Lynz: I wish I had known how hard it was going to be (tongue-tied, nursing strikes, overactive letdown, reflux, etc.), but with perseverance and a lot of support (from Robin and The Boob Group) it DOES get easier!

Janine: Hang in there!  After about 2 weeks, it gets SO MUCH BETTER!

Ashley: Ask for help when you need it.  No use trying to figure this out all on your own.

Liesal: Trust your body and your baby.  I was so worried that I was doing something wrong and that he wasn’t getting enough.  Babies know when they are hungry and will tell you about it until they get enough.  The best advice I got was that it gets so much easier once he can help you.  Each monthe does get easier and easier.

Shawni: Any amount of breastmilk you can give your baby is a good thing, so don’t feel guilty if you have to supplement.  Also, their bellies are the size of their fists.

Jeannine: Go with the flow!  If your milk doesn’t come in fast, don’t worry about it.  The baby is fine with colostrum (for the first few days.) 

Kelly: Not to worry about how long I feed and watch the baby to show he/she is full.  Also, that I could have encouraged my milk to not ‘dry up’ by diet and other things.

Mary: I wish I had read this to know about the first few days of breastfeeding:http://theleakyboob.com/2011/08/baby-explains-normal-newborn-behavior/

Alye: It’s may be hard for the first few months, but it’s all worth it.

Hillary: Have the number of a lactation consultant before the baby is born.

Ashley: Don’t let all of the advice and directions confuse you.  Do what works best for the both of you, as long as it’s safe and effective.

Erin: It’s gets easier!

Laura: Not all advice is GOOD advice – do a little research before the baby is born so that you know what’s true and what is not!

Veronica: Take a class! 

Katie: Don’t let your boobs get hard! Pump and feed often!  The Nursing Mothers Companion book helped me tremendously as well.

Super Cool Kids: I wish I would have started a stash right away.

Natalie: Breastfeeding should never hurt!

Allison: Listen to your baby and your intuition.

Stephanie: Research a correct latch.  Feed as often as possible in the beginning.

Joann: Breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt!

Kristine: Not every breastfeeding relationship looks the same.  You and your baby have to get to know one another and figure out what works best for you.  It’s not a textbook kind of thing.

Renee: Don’t let the nurses in the hospital discourage you.  Ask for a lactation consultant if you need help.

Suzanne: If you are not sure how much your baby is getting, you can rent a scale or stop by a support group.  If you are having a problem with let down, find a quiet place with no interruptions and relax!

Vanessa: I wish someone had told me that the amount that breastfed babies take doesn’t really increase the way that it does with formula fed babies.  I worries for a while that my son wasn’t getting enough.

Teresa: Have a lot of one-handed food on hand in the beginning because you will only have the use of one hand for a while. 

Monica: Use a wrap (like Moby) anytime/anywhere.  I didn’t know how easy breastfeeding could be with her strapped to my body.

Mei: My husband helped to make sure that I had water, snacks, and my phone nearby. 

Catalina: Persevere!

Here are a few more articles on our website, specifically dealing with breastfeeding a newborn:

Why is my newborn so sleepy?

Newborn hands: why are they always in the way while breastfeeding? 

The Boob Group podcast's monthly series: Breastfeeding Expectations

When It's Time to Find a New Lactation Consultant

Recently, I have noticed many conversations online where breastfeeding mothers have expressed feelings of despair and frustration that their needs were not met while working with a lactation consultant. In fact, this isn't just happening online, but also in my community as well. 

Last week, my appointment with a new mom started off with her explaining that she was feeling very fragile and insecure, as she had already met with a lactation consultant and it didn't go so well.  When I asked her what happened, she described a lactation consultation that had gone completely wrong.  In a nutshell, the IBCLC told the mom that if she followed her pediatrician's advice (which I actually thought was quite reasonable advice) that she would completely lose her already low milk supply (which was absolutely not the case) and that she should just consider bottle feeding her baby if her nipples hurt that badly.  At the end of the consultation, the mom felt completely defeated and that she was a horrible mom for wanting to follow her pediatrician's advice. 

This story absolutely infuriated me! 

How could this have happened?  How could this wonderful mom, who had been proactive about resolving some minimal breastfeeding challenges, suddenly feel inadequate and ill-equipped to take care of her new baby?  How could this lactation consultant have had such a negative impact on this woman's elf-esteem, especially during such a vulnerable time?

In the midst of all of these negative stories, I felt compelled to write an article listing some situations that indicate it is time to see a new lactation consultant.  I'd like to apologize upfront.  Some may find that the tone of this article is somewhat harsh, but I have to say that I am pretty fired up right now.  I am angry about how breastfeeding mothers are mistreated.

When it is time to find a new lactation consultant? 

The lactation consultant makes you feel like a bad mother

While the purpose for a lactation appointment with me is to improve breastfeeding challenges, my utmost goal is that I help the breastfeeding mom see what she is already doing well and to offer positive emotional support and guidance.  Being a new mother can be incredibly overwhelming and I remember second guessing everything I was doing, as this was completely unfamiliar territory.  No matter what the situation, there is always something that you are doing well and that is what the appointment should build upon.  If you are made to feel like you are doing everything wrong, then it's time to seek the help of a new practitioner. 

The lactation consultant doesn't provide you with  reasonable rationale for her recommendations

You are allowed to question any advice given to you by any practitioner... that is your right as a parent.  If something doesn't seem correct, ask the LC for her rationale.  If she can't provide you with a reason for her suggestions, or she seems upset or bothered that you would question her recommendations, the it's time to find a new LC.

The lactation consultant seems more concerned that you breastfeed than meeting your individual needs

Yes, breastfeeding can be great!  Yes, breastmilk is far superior to formula!  Yes, you clearly want breastfeeding to 'work'.... why else would you have called an LC for help in the first place???  Yet, while breastfeeding is optimal for your health and your baby's health, the first questions that an LC should ask is, "What do you want to work on today and what are your breastfeeding goals?"  The consultation should be all about YOU and YOUR needs, not what the LC thinks is most important.

You don't feel like there is a positive connection between the two of you

When you work with a lactation consultant, you should feel like this person truly cares about you and your child. Your needs and your baby's needs should come first.  Our mission is to help you meet those needs in the simplest way possible.  Sometimes the path to meet your goals is not easy...sometimes it is downright complicated (think twins with tongue-ties!),  but you should feel like the lactation consultant cares about you and your baby, both physically and emotionally.  She should support your wishes and help you to meet your goal.  And if your goal changes, she should stand behind you for those as well.

You just want a second opinion

Think about it, if you were dealing with a medical issue and you didn't totally like the doctor's recommendation, wouldn't you seek a second opinion?  When our son was having behavioral and developmental challenges, we not only spoke with our pediatrician, but also an osteopath, a chiropractor, and a nutritionist.  It was the osteopath that finally figured out that my son had a gluten intolerance, not a developmental delay, and we were so thankful that we had an opportunity to seek out additional opinions.  There have been times when I have recommended my clients to seek a second opinion from a physician, chiropractor, and even another local lactation consultant, if I felt that it would help her baby.  There's no shame is saying that you would like a second opinion.

As with all things related to breastfeeding and parenting, you should always feel supported, not judged, by your health care providers.  Breastfeeding CAN be wonderful and relaxing and joyous and fulfilling, especially if you surround yourself with supportive, caring, and nurturing family, friends, and practitioners!   There are many qualified International Board Certified Lactation Consultants (IBCLCs), around the world, who would love to provide you with the type of support you desire.  You deserve to be with the one who's the best fit for you!

*** As a side note, these scenarios could also indicate a reason to find ANY new health practitioner, as they are relatable to many different professions as well.

Breastfeeding Expectations for the First Month

Do you remember what breastfeeding was like during those first few weeks after your baby was born? 

I personally remember feeling somewhat clumsy and awkward, as if my son and I were trying to master a new dance without stepping on each other’s toes.  Our rhythm was slightly off.   I constantly relied on my breastfeeding pillow and there was absolutely no dependable schedule.  I was forced to switch off my Type-A brain and learn to go with the flow, which was quite a challenge for me, to say the least!

Yet, as the months went by our breastfeeding relationship changed.  In most ways, it improved immensely, as I became a more confident mother and caregiver.  In other ways, different nuances surfaced, which taught me that breastfeeding, like parenting, is constantly in a state of motion and sometimes in need of modifications.

Listening to other breastfeeding mothers, I realized that my experience was super common.  We all found that our breastfeeding relationships with our children changed dramatically from the time our babies were born to the time they eventually weaned.  Breastfeeding a 6-week old was drastically different than breastfeeding a 9-month old or toddler, and all of the months in between.  And, what helped make these transitions manageable was knowing now common and normal these experiences truly were.

Today, on The Boob Group online radio show, I am excited to announce a NEW SERIES called Breastfeeding Expectations! 

For the next 12 months, we will be following three new mothers along their breastfeeding journeys, learning how they cope with breastfeeding challenges and settle into a breastfeeding rhythm with their babies.  Jenn, Anney, and Cherri have graciously offered to share their stories, including both their successes and their struggles, as we document what it has been like for them to breastfeed their babies.

Please click here for the first episode of Breastfeeding Expectations: The First Month

For additional resources about breastfeeding during the first month of your baby’s life, check out Breastfeeding Expectations: The First Month on The Boob Group web site.  Also, join The Boob Group Facebook Page and sign up for The Boob Group Newsletter to stay informed about upcoming episodes, blog articles, and giveaways!

What did breastfeeding look like for you and your baby during that first month?

What challenges did you face and how did you overcome them?

What did you enjoy the most during that first month of breastfeeding?