Call for Your Breastfeeding Stories!

This year’s theme for World Breastfeeding Week is Sustaining Breastfeeding Together, which really brings forth the collaborative nature of breastfeeding.  When I think about the components that shape a mother’s breastfeeding experience, the first thing that come to mind is support.  Who is part of her ‘Dream Team of Breastfeeding Support’?  Her partner?  Her family and friends? Her doctors and midwives?  Her lactation consultant?  Her local and online community? All of these connections shape how we view ourselves as a breastfeeding mother and how successful we feels about ourselves and our experience.  Since not all of us are fortunate to have a huge system of in-person breastfeeding support, online support can be critical.  

Over the years we have collected breastfeeding memoirs from our readers.  Our goal is to share the many different ways that mothers breastfeed, each story highlighting different challenges that may arise and how mothers are resilient and determined to find success, whatever that may look like to them.  

This August, in honor of the 2017 World Breastfeeding Week’s theme, we are sending out a call for YOUR breastfeeding memoir.  Would you like to share your story so that another mother may find support from and connection to your experience?  Did you overcome a challenge?  Did the support of another person help shape your breastfeeding experience?   

Details:

• We will be collecting breastfeeding memoirs from August 1 - September 15, 2017.
• Each memoir should be between 150-250 words and include a photo
• Each memoir must be original content
• All selected memoirs will be posted on the SDBFC website’s blog and be considered for inclusion in an upcoming breastfeeding book!

Possible topics, but not limited to:

• Increasing milk supply

• Going back to work
• Overcoming breastfeeding challenges
• Breastfeeding after a NICU stay
• Breastfeeding after breast surgery
• Tongue tie
• Breastfeeding twins
• Positive nursing in public experience
• Full term breastfeeding
• Tandem nursing

Feel free to post any questions in the comments.

Please email your original breastfeeding memoir and photo(s) to Robin Kaplan (robinkaplan@sdbfc.com)

There are so many online stories of moms feeling like they’ve failed…. Let’s flood the Internet with stories of triumph!

My Village of Breastfeeding Support

 Over the next few weeks we will be sharing stories of triumphant breastfeeding mamas and their biggest supporters who helped them reach their personal breastfeeding goals.  If you would like to share your breastfeeding story and thank your biggest breastfeeding cheerleaders, check out the details in our recent blog article.

_____

Here is Stephanie's story.

It has truly taken a village to help me be successful in nursing both of my babies!  I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but, after the birth of my first son, my passion and commitment to it were a surprise to even me.  I was also caught extremely off-guard by the difficulties both of my boys encountered as we began our breastfeeding journeys together.  Tongue ties, lip ties, low weight gain, low supply, poor latch, pain/cracking/bleeding, overactive letdown, and more were all hurdles we had to cross.  There is absolutely NO way I could have made it to 13 months formula-free with my first son and still going strong and formula-free at 6 months with my second without these amazing people.

My husband!  My passion and commitment to breastfeed my babies surprised him also, but he never questioned it and stood by me no matter what decisions I made!  He became just as committed and passionate about it, knowing it was the best thing we could do for our boys.  He came to appointments, helped get the baby latched on time after time, stood up for me when others questioned why I didn’t just quit, and let me cry when it all just became too much!  He has truly been my rock through all of this, and I can sense his gratitude for the sacrifices I have made to give our boys this amazing gift!

My Lactation Consultants! Four different lactation consultants have come alongside my babies and me in our journey together.  Every single one of them encouraged me that I could do it when the hurdles seemed insurmountable.  They provided a listening, sympathetic ear when I just needed to vent or cry or talk it out.  They provided help, advice, referrals, and life-changing solutions that kept us going!

My tribe of other breastfeeding Mamas! Friends I have known since childhood, friends I’ve made in recent years, and people I met through the breastfeeding process made it all possible - others who had or were experiencing some of the same challenges, some who didn’t have trouble but believed just as passionately in the benefits of breastfeeding, some who visited, some who called, and one who even created an on-line community to connect us all!  There were many people in my life who didn’t understand why I didn’t give up when they saw the emotional and physical toll it was taking on me, but these other Mamas got it!  They knew why I couldn’t quit, why no challenge was too big!  

My virtual breastfeeding community!  Although I will never meet most of these women in person, the support, advice, commiseration, and encouragement they have provided have truly been critical!  To be able to jump online in the middle of the night when it just seemed like I couldn’t do it and have others on there to tell me that, yes, I could do it got me through many rough moments!  They have calmed nerves, answered questions, given virtual hugs, and just been an amazing support system!

My babies! Even from the very start and even in the face of all of our challenges, my babies have always loved nursing!  They didn’t quit so there was no way I could!

Breastfeeding in the Operating Room

Over the next few weeks we will be sharing stories of triumphant breastfeeding mamas and their biggest supporters who helped them reach their personal breastfeeding goals. 

_____

This story is from Dawn.

I have to thank my hospital TEAM for my breastfeeding success! 

When I gave birth to my son 5+ years ago, it wasn’t what any first time mom would like to experience. I was having problems with maintaining my blood pressure and when my little boys’ heart rate dropped too low, I was rushed into an emergency c-section. It was an extremely frightening process that didn’t even enter my mind as a possibility. The months that followed were hard. We struggled at finding a proper latch and feeding became such a difficult task, I dreaded it.

It never occurred to me that our difficulties at latching could have been because of the birth experience.

In early 2012 we received good news, we were expecting! I did my best to set everything up for a different birthing experience. I searched out a CDC accredited Baby Friendly Hospital in my area, researched VBAC’s and educated myself on the benefits of skin-to-skin.  It wasn’t until closer to my due date that I was informed I couldn’t have a VBAC.  No hospital would even consider me as a potential VBAC candidate because of my small heart issue as well as my age.  After fighting and pleading, I had to acknowledge that I had no other option, but another C-section.

I may have lost that battle, but I was going to do everything in my power to have skin-to-skin with my little girl. I was aware of the evidence-based research on the benefits of skin-to-skin and its success rate with c-section births. I talked to my pediatrician about this and he agreed.  (I since found out that it is the pediatrician who is in charge in the OR!)  I wrote my birth plan with the intentions of doing skin-to-skin immediately after the c-section unless there was a medical reason not to. 

Alas, I wasn’t able to make it all the way to my scheduled c-section date. This time I was low on amino fluids and baby’s lack of movement put me into the hospital at 36 weeks. With concern, my OB and the pediatrician, agreed, that under supervision, they would monitor me and try to get us to the 37th week and do the c-section. 

Now, prior to this, we made sure to talk with all the right people about our wishes for skin-to-skin.  Everyone was on board: our OB, the hospital’s labor and delivery nurses, and staff.  In fact, the hospital staff has been championing the change in procedures to allow skin-to-skin in the OR without success. 

The day of my C-section, my regular pediatrician was out of town and his standing replacement wasn’t comfortable at all.  I had to conveince the standing pediatrician that this was in my and my baby's best interest.  The hospital's Head Labor & Delivery nurse helped us get to a compromise!  She is my angel!  She proposed that if everything looked good my little girl would be immediately placed on my chest, without ANY other intrusion.... meaning the vernix would be wiped off her while she was on my chest and she would be weighted and measured later. 

When the hour came for us to have the c-section more drama around skin-to-skin unfolded, this time all the way up to the director of the Family Birth Center.  The director of the Family Birth Center was completely opposed to it and tried talking my OB out of it.  We were lucky we had enough support and commitment from the labor and delivery nurses and my OB to move forward. We finally got our wish!

I have to admit, because she was coming 3 weeks early, I wasn’t sure we would even get the option of skin-to-skin, but our little girl emerged perfectly!  She was screaming and quickly confirmed in perfect health! 

When she was placed on my chest and covered with a warming blanket, I was in awe.  This little 6 pound bundle was just perfect.  After a little while, she actually scooted and rooted for my breasts and eventually latched and nursed!   I just didn’t think I would get that experience since she was early.  The remembrance still makes me cry.  It was such an amazing experience.  I was so happy I had the team in my corner and the hospital went forward with my wishes.  

When I was first told I would have to have another cesarean, I felt completely out of control and very disappointed.   Creating a birth plan around my c-section allowed me to take a bit of control back and talking with all parties that come with a c-section allowed me the skin-to-skin connection that was deeply important to me.  

It has been over a year since Beth was born.  We are still nursing strong and have a connection that I attribute to the wonderful team that helped me get skin-to-skin in the OR! 

Side note:  I have since heard that they have allowed other moms the same experience!  The hospital team not only helped me, but also have persevered in getting policy “changed” at the hospital!  

Dawn Alva

Rumina Nursingwear

Why Women Should Attend a Breastfeeding Support Group WHILE Pregnant

There are few things that I really focus on when a pregnant mama asks what she should know about breastfeeding before her baby is born.  One, it is incredibly beneficial to take a prenatal breastfeeding class to learn about positioning, latching, following baby’s feeding cues, and how to tell if your baby is getting enough.  Most importantly, though, when it is all whittled down to the core, in my mind what helps a mom reach her breastfeeding goal has all to do with support!  When mamas share with me why they stopped breastfeeding, the most prominent theme is lack of support and assistance when breastfeeding challenges became complicated. 

So here’s the deal - breastfeeding is something you learn on the job.  In really supportive jobs, we usually have professional development at the start, as well as throughout our employment to keep us up to date and provide needed support.  Parenting is definitely a full time job, yet we often have to seek out our own unpaid professional development, to have our questions answered and continue the learning process.  This ‘professional development’ can often be challenging to find, as well as not all support is equally beneficial.

This leads into why I think it is a fabulous idea for women to attend a breastfeeding support group while they are still pregnant.  Still pregnant, you may ask… why not wait until after the baby is born?  Great question, my friend, and here are the reasons why.

Why women should attend a breastfeeding support group WHILE pregnant:

1. Make it a familiar place.  There is nothing scarier than going to an unfamiliar place with a brand new baby.  I didn’t get on the freeway for 4 weeks after Ben was born and I definitely didn’t want to go someplace I had never been before.  What if the people were weird?  What if Ben started screaming and I couldn’t calm him down?  What if I couldn’t find parking?  That’s the perk of finding a breastfeeding support group while pregnant…..no baby in tow.  Now, you can find where to park your car or stroller, at your own pace.  You can check out the setting and the flow of the group without feeling like you have to stay the entire time.  You can try out the seating situation and make note of where everyone puts their enormous diaper bags.  You just turned an unfamiliar place into one where you will hopefully feel comfortable returning to once your little one is born.  Doesn’t that sound less stressful?

2. Meet the facilitator.  At work, every professional development facilitator has her/his own style and tone.  It is the same way with support group leaders.  You get to be choosy while pregnant.  Maybe the first group seemed too crowded or the facilitator didn’t jive with you.  Go check out another one!  No need to settle.  Find one that appeals to you and makes you want to return as soon as you have your baby.

3. Witness a live baby latch onto a real breast.  This many sound funny, but how many of you have really ever seen a live baby wiggle and shift and slide down a mother’s torso to latch onto her breast?  Maybe in a breastfeeding class video, but that’s not LIVE.  Be a lurker…you’re pregnant…no one will mind J  When I interviewed Ina May Gaskin for The Boob Group in 2012, this was one of her main recommendations.  Surround yourself with breastfeeding mothers.  Watch them and learn from them.  It’s amazing how much you will learn from just observing a few different mothers at a group.  Quickly you will realize that there are MANY ways to position and latch a baby….there really doesn’t need to be so many rules about it.

4. Chat with some new mothers who are going through exactly what you will be going through in a few weeks.  New moms love to talk about their experiences.  It’s like starting a new job that you are totally obsessed with and want to share as much as you can IMMEDIATELY!  Participate in their conversations.  Learn from their experiences.  Ask a bunch of questions.  They have gained so much knowledge in their few weeks/months as mothers…. Soak it up!

5. Learn where to find support and assistance if you need it or where all the cool breastfeeding moms hang out.  You never know if you will need some extra breastfeeding assistance, so preparation is the key.  Not all situations can be resolved at a support group (which is why I also highly recommend finding a lactation consultant before you have your baby, as well…just in case), but it is often a great place to start!  One thing I’d also like to point out - not all of the mothers who attend a breastfeeding support group are having breastfeeding challenges, which is awesome!  Many just come for the conversation and to have a place where they know their kiddos can be fed easily.  Sit next to one of them and feel the breastfeeding love!  They might even ask you to join them for lunch after the meeting! 

Help a Mama Out: Surviving the First Few Weeks of Breastfeeding

What tips do you have for surviving the first few weeks of breastfeeding?

Maren: Lots of skin to skin to get those endorphins going so you can take advantage of all that delicious oxytocin (which will make you want to keep breastfeeding, even with things might be tough!)  Take advantage of all of the support you can – it will help normalize the experience so that you feel totally confident in your decision to breastfeed.  And know ahead of time that there is definitely a learning curve, but it only gets better and better, so hang in there!

Amanda: Make sure to talk to your partner about how you need him/her to support breastfeeding and encourage you, even when you get discouraged and feel like giving up!

Jamie: Get the latch correct right away!  Take advantage of the lactation consultants at the hospital and ask for a referral even if you don’t think you will need one.

Andrea: Trust your body!  Skin to skin, lots of water, and lots of rest.

Heather: Surround yourself with at least one supportive person.  I would never have made it through those weeks without the support of my husband.

Alicia: Hire a postpartum doula.

Juli: Surround yourself with women (and men!) who support breastfeeding.  It gets easier – it is definitely worth pushing through the tough parts in the beginning!

Billie: Make really good friends with the lactation consultant and local breastfeeding support group before delivery.  They will be able to offer so much support in those first few weeks.  Trust your supply.  Make sure you are comfortable!

Monica: I went to classes and read books, which helped, but nothing prepares you for the real thing.  Get help early, if you need it.  Hiring a lactation consultant was the best thing I did.  Keep telling yourself you will try it for one more day and one day it will become second nature.  Coconut oil worked wonders on sore nipples.

Christine: OMG… best advice I got was to rub breastmilk around your nipples after every nursing session!  My cracked tatas healed within 2 days of doing that!

Chelle: If it hurts and you are dreading the next nursing session, don’t just tough it out!  Get help ASAP before it gets worse or turns into an issue that makes you quit! Take a prenatal class.  Breastfeeding is natural, but that doesn’t mean you will naturally know what to do.

Sarah: Don’t expect anything else from yourself.  Set up what you can ahead of time and find someone else to do everything else that needs to be done.  Establishing your breastfeeding relationship is your job.

Jen: Get a Netflix subscription and ignore the dirty dishes!

Danielle: Don’t do anything but rest, breastfeed, nap, and eat.  Nothing else matters right now.

Abbey: Celebrate every success, no matter how small it seems!

Desiree: Find support!  And be patient…it’s not always easy, but it’s most certainly worth it! 

Sofia: Learn the basics!  Before birth is possible!  Proper latch, how milk supply works, most common myths about breastfeeding, how to know if your baby is getting enough, why it is REALLY important to feed on cue rather than a schedule, why baby doesn’t need ANYTHING else but your breastmilk, etc.

Amanda: Don’t give up! Get help and support!  Spend as much time as you can with your baby (in bed if you can.)

Priscilla: Relax.  Don’t listen to anyone that’s not helpful. Determine your own needs for comfort.

Joanna: Expect to care for your baby and get others to help with meals and housework.

Thanks to everyone who responded to our questions on our San Diego Breastfeeding Center and The Boob Group Facebook pages.  Check back every Tuesday for a new Help a Mama Out tip!

To find an international board certified lactation consultant, visit www.ilca.org

Here are a few more articles on our website, specifically dealing with breastfeeding a newborn:

Advice for a Newly Breastfeeding Mama’s Partner

Breastfeeding Expectations for the First Month

Newborn Hands: Why are they always in the way while breastfeeding?

Advice for the New Breastfeeding Mom

What Advice Do You Wish You Had Heard Before You Started Breastfeeding?

This is a question I hear quite often, so I thought I would share my favorite tips, as well as share the amazing comments we received from our Facebook page when we asked our fellow breastfeeding mamas!

My Top 5 Pieces of Advice Every Woman Should Have Before She Breastfeeds:

1. Find a lactation consultant in your area before you have your baby. 

No one should have to google this information at 3:30 in the morning when you feel like your nipples are going to fall off.  Instead, spend a few minutes on the computer, in between your stroller and diaper research, to find an international board certified lactation consultant who seems like a really great person. Check out her Yelp reviews and ask your friends who they would recommend. 

2. Take a quality breastfeeding class so that you know what the ‘norm’ should look like. 

 This will help you to discern when you may need extra support from a lactation consultant or support group.  As new parents, we have no idea how often our baby should be peeing/pooping during those first few weeks and what a comfortable latch feels like.  A prenatal breastfeeding class should give you the basics and a nice foundation for what breastfeeding should look like for you.  It should get you EXCITED about breastfeeding, not fuel your fears.

3. Find a breastfeeding support group in your neighborhood and check it out before having your baby. 

 Find out where to park and what the flow is of the group.  Do these women look like ones you want to hang out with?  Does the support group leader seem friendly and non-judgmental?  In those first few weeks after having my son, I remember feeling quite anxious about bringing him to an unfamiliar place.  I wish I had stopped by my local breastfeeding support group, while pregnant, so that I would have been less timid to stop by when we were having breastfeeding challenges. 

4. Plan to spend time figuring out your breastfeeding rhythm with your little one.   

 Which position is most comfortable for the two of you? How long does it take your baby to have a good feeding session?  How often does your baby like to feed?  Every mother/baby pair is unique and it is important for you to figure out what works for the two of you.  Plus, there is a reason that babies breastfeed for about 45 minutes per feeding session in those first few weeks…. It is nature’s way of helping mom slow down, relax, and enjoy her baby.  When else have you had the opportunity to slow down your pace of life and be completely present?  It’s a gift!

5. Know that while breastfeeding is natural and normal, there can be some hiccups along the way, as with anything having to do with raising a child. 

Surround yourself with supportive people who can cheerlead you through the difficult times and celebrate your successes.  A challenge does not equal a failure.  It just means that we need some support to meet our goal.

Here are the tips that were shared on our Facebook page:

Gina: Drink things other than water, like coconut water

Krystyn: It will get easier

Brittany: I knew hardly anything about breastfeeding before I gave birth.  My mom and my husband’s mom didn’t breastfeed.  I just wish I would’ve had someone with any kind of experience to help me.  I had flat nipples and a lip-tied baby.  I needed the support!

Erin: I was in shock that I was so tender at first.  That would have been great to know… then I wouldn’t have assumed that I was doing something wrong and freaked out.

Kelli: It’s natural, but isn’t always easy for everyone.  It gets better with time, patience and support!

Rena: Best advice I ever got: The two of you have to learn one another.  It’s a learning process for both of you, so go easy on yourself.

Kim: Don’t watch the clock…watch the baby and go by his/her cues.

Lynz: I wish I had known how hard it was going to be (tongue-tied, nursing strikes, overactive letdown, reflux, etc.), but with perseverance and a lot of support (from Robin and The Boob Group) it DOES get easier!

Janine: Hang in there!  After about 2 weeks, it gets SO MUCH BETTER!

Ashley: Ask for help when you need it.  No use trying to figure this out all on your own.

Liesal: Trust your body and your baby.  I was so worried that I was doing something wrong and that he wasn’t getting enough.  Babies know when they are hungry and will tell you about it until they get enough.  The best advice I got was that it gets so much easier once he can help you.  Each monthe does get easier and easier.

Shawni: Any amount of breastmilk you can give your baby is a good thing, so don’t feel guilty if you have to supplement.  Also, their bellies are the size of their fists.

Jeannine: Go with the flow!  If your milk doesn’t come in fast, don’t worry about it.  The baby is fine with colostrum (for the first few days.) 

Kelly: Not to worry about how long I feed and watch the baby to show he/she is full.  Also, that I could have encouraged my milk to not ‘dry up’ by diet and other things.

Mary: I wish I had read this to know about the first few days of breastfeeding:http://theleakyboob.com/2011/08/baby-explains-normal-newborn-behavior/

Alye: It’s may be hard for the first few months, but it’s all worth it.

Hillary: Have the number of a lactation consultant before the baby is born.

Ashley: Don’t let all of the advice and directions confuse you.  Do what works best for the both of you, as long as it’s safe and effective.

Erin: It’s gets easier!

Laura: Not all advice is GOOD advice – do a little research before the baby is born so that you know what’s true and what is not!

Veronica: Take a class! 

Katie: Don’t let your boobs get hard! Pump and feed often!  The Nursing Mothers Companion book helped me tremendously as well.

Super Cool Kids: I wish I would have started a stash right away.

Natalie: Breastfeeding should never hurt!

Allison: Listen to your baby and your intuition.

Stephanie: Research a correct latch.  Feed as often as possible in the beginning.

Joann: Breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt!

Kristine: Not every breastfeeding relationship looks the same.  You and your baby have to get to know one another and figure out what works best for you.  It’s not a textbook kind of thing.

Renee: Don’t let the nurses in the hospital discourage you.  Ask for a lactation consultant if you need help.

Suzanne: If you are not sure how much your baby is getting, you can rent a scale or stop by a support group.  If you are having a problem with let down, find a quiet place with no interruptions and relax!

Vanessa: I wish someone had told me that the amount that breastfed babies take doesn’t really increase the way that it does with formula fed babies.  I worries for a while that my son wasn’t getting enough.

Teresa: Have a lot of one-handed food on hand in the beginning because you will only have the use of one hand for a while. 

Monica: Use a wrap (like Moby) anytime/anywhere.  I didn’t know how easy breastfeeding could be with her strapped to my body.

Mei: My husband helped to make sure that I had water, snacks, and my phone nearby. 

Catalina: Persevere!

Here are a few more articles on our website, specifically dealing with breastfeeding a newborn:

Why is my newborn so sleepy?

Newborn hands: why are they always in the way while breastfeeding? 

The Boob Group podcast's monthly series: Breastfeeding Expectations