Help! My baby won’t take a bottle!

Originally published on June 24, 2019; Revised August 27, 2024

Author: Robin Kaplan, M.Ed, IBCLC, FNC

Photo by Brytny.com on Unsplash

So your breastfed baby is refusing bottles.  Isn’t the typical concern that a breastfeeding/chestfeeding baby may prefer bottles over nursing and not the other way around?  While breastfeeding refusal can happen as well, any type of feeding rejection is your baby’s way of communicating that something is feeling challenging.  So let’s dive into some of the reasons why a nursing baby rejects the bottle and some tips to remedy a bottle feeding aversion.   

ABOUT SDBFC

The San Diego Breastfeeding Center was established in 2009 by Robin Kaplan, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, Functional Nutritionist, and parent.  Her vision was to create a judgment-free, inclusive support system for families navigating infant feeding challenges. 

SDBFC offers a wide range of one-on-one breastfeeding, infant feeding, and nutrition consultations - as well as classes, support groups, online articles, and social media - making it your one-stop-shop for all things infant feeding!

Why do babies refuse to take bottles?

your Baby lost their innate sucking reflex

All babies are born with an innate sucking reflex.  This is the reflex that causes them to start suckling as soon as something (nipple, finger, bottle, pacifier) is placed in their mouth.  Well, that innate sucking reflex at some point becomes integrated, usually between 8-12 weeks old, making it such that the baby now decides whether he/she wants to suck, rather than relying on the reflex.  And if your baby hasn’t practiced bottle feeding before the reflex is integrated, they might have no interest in trying out this new feeding skill.

Tips to overcome bottle rejection with an older baby: 

• Try offering when your baby is sleepy - this is when the innate sucking reflex comes back temporarily!

• Change the temperature - maybe warming the milk will be more enticing

• Try some distraction techniques - face your baby away from you, try lying your baby on their side, bounce on a yoga ball, go outside for a distraction, have an older sibling show the baby a toy or book

• Offer your baby just the bottle nipple (no milk in the bottle), after nursing. Think of this as playful practice, which removes the stress and keeps this low pressure.  Once you find a bottle nipple that your baby is willing to suck on without milk, then offer the bottle with milk the next time around.

Your baby doesn’t like that particular bottle nipple or flow

Bottle nipples come in many different shapes, sizes, and flow rates.  Don’t fall for the marketing hype when the bottle packaging says that it is ‘just like the breast.’  If your baby is struggling with the flow of milk coming out or cannot form a good seal around the bottle nipple, that is going to feel very frustrating to him/her and could cause bottle refusal of that particular bottle(s)

Tips to overcome bottle rejection when your baby doesn’t like the bottle nipple or flow: 

• Focus on what your baby does when you put the bottle into his/her mouth.  

• If his/her lips don’t form a great seal around the bottle nipple (milk spilling out of the sides of her/his mouth, lips curled under, etc), choose a different shaped nipple/bottle.  

• If he/she looks overwhelmed by the milk flow (eyes bugging out, hands splaying, etc), go with a slower flowing nipple or switch to a completely different bottle brand.  And practice paced bottle feeding

• If your baby is struggling to get milk out of the bottle, move up to a higher nipple size to see if that helps.

Pumped milk has excess lipase in it

Does your pumped milk smell soapy, metallic, or sour?  Was your baby willing to take freshly pumped milk before he/she started rejecting the bottle?  It’s possible that your milk might have excess lipase. Lipase is a natural enzyme that breaks down fats in pumped milk, making it easier for babies to digest. However, when lipase levels are too high, it can cause the fats in milk to break down faster, especially when stored in cool temperatures. This can change the taste and smell of the milk, making it less appealing to babies. 

Tips for overcoming bottle rejection due to excess lipase: 

• First, you’ll want to figure out when your milk starts to become sour.  

• Next, you can scald your milk to deactivate the lipase, stopping it from souring your milk.  

• Then, you will want to practice with the bottle nipple (like in the recommendations above) to demonstrate to your baby that bottle nipple doesn’t equal sour milk flavor.  

• Once your baby is willing to practice with the bottle nipple (without milk in it) then offer a bottle with non-sour milk.

Your baby has a tongue tie, upper lip tie, or high palate

Variations in oral anatomy can sometimes make bottle feeding challenging.  Some tongue ties restrict the way a baby extends or wraps his/her tongue around a firm bottle nipple, making it more difficult to extract milk from the bottle.  Some upper lip ties restrict the way a baby’s upper lip flanges, making it more difficult to form a good seal around a bottle nipple.  Some high palates are very sensitive, causing a baby to gag when a long bottle nipple touches that particular spot at the roof of the mouth.

Tips for overcoming bottle rejection due to a tongue tie, upper lip tie, or high palate:

• Work with a lactation consultant to identify which bottle might be most comfortable and effective for your baby, based on his/her oral anatomy, while protecting your nursing relationship.

• Work with a lactation consultant to evaluate whether a tongue and/or upper lip tie release would be helpful for bottle feeding (as well as continued breastfeeding and solid food feeding).

• Work with an Occupational Therapist or SLP who specializes in alternative bottle feeding methods for babies

If you’ve tried a few of these tricks and your baby is still refusing the bottle, STOP! It’s important to not force the issue or it could become very difficult to resolve. Your baby is trying to communicate that it is time to bring in a lactation consultant who has extra training in bottle refusal (like all of the lactation consultants at SDBFC!)

If your baby is refusing a bottle, we are just a consult away!

Don’t let bottle feeding struggles cause stress for you or your baby!  Our consultants can help identify the root cause(s) of why your baby isn’t taking a bottle and can offer suggestions for ways to overcome these challenges!  At each bottle feeding appointment, our lactation consultants complete a full oral assessment, try a variety of bottle nipples, and offer strategies for helping your baby build bottle feeding skills.  Book a one-on-one bottle feeding consultation today

SDBFC is committed to providing high-quality lactation and functional nutrition consultations to parents in San Diego and beyond. Explore our postpartum, prenatal, and functional nutrition consultations, take a breastfeeding class or attend a workshop.

About the Author

Robin Kaplan has been an IBCLC since 2009, the same year that she opened up the San Diego Breastfeeding Center.  Robin was the founding host of the Boob Group podcast and published her first book, Latch: a Handbook for Breastfeeding with Confidence at Every Stage in 2018.  Melding her passions for supporting lactating parents and holistic health, Robin finished her Functional Nutrition Certification in 2023. In her free time, she enjoys hanging out with her two teenage boys, hiking, traveling, weaving, cooking, and searching for the best chai latte.

Related Posts

Our Biggest Announcement in Years!

When I think about my own Going Back to Work experience, as well as our lactation clients’ experiences, there are some common themes and emotions that come top of mind.

• Feelings of overwhelm and stress while preparing for this transition. How can I get my baby, my baby’s caregiver, and my supervisor all on the same page?

• Anxiety about our milk supplies decreasing. How is my pump going to keep up my milk supply?  How will I find time to pump?

• Worry that our children are going to be overfed by their caregivers. How much milk should I leave for my baby and how can I convince our caregiver that this is the correct amount?

• Concern about managing work life and family life (balance never really happens, right?) How will I be able to do it all?

But, when I look even deeper into where those emotions are coming from, I believe that they are coming from this......

We just spent the past weeks and months tirelessly establishing and nurturing a breastfeeding relationship with our child that we now might lose control over!

And the fear that going back to work will sabotage our ability to reach our personal breastfeeding goals scares the hell out of us.  

We feel like we have lost control over our breastfeeding relationship.

This is the thing, though…. You have the ability to retain control.  It is all in how you prepare for this transition in your overall journey.

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

This is exactly why I created an easy-to-follow process to prepare yourself, your pump, your baby, your baby’s caregiver, and your supervisor for a smooth transition where you remain in control of your breastfeeding relationship!

We are so excited to announce SDBFC's first online course, Breastfeeding for the Working Family! This is the easiest, most comprehensive step-by-step course to prepare everyone for this transition back to work.

With the purchase of this online course, you will receive:

• 14 short, info-loaded videos to watch at your leisure

• 6 customizable handouts

• Access to our exclusive private FB group, where you can share all of your thoughts and advice with other pumping working parents, watch extra video content, and get special deals from our favorite product partners!

• Weekly Live Q&As on our Facebook group, with a lactation consultant, to answer your burning questions (This might be my favorite part of the whole course!)

I want you to imagine how amazing it will feel to meet your personal breastfeeding/pumping goals, despite going back to work.

Ready to make this happen?

For more information about the course, check out our online course page

How to purchase the course RIGHT NOW:

In honor of our online course launch, you may use this coupon code (COURSELAUNCH20) to receive $20 off your purchase! This deal lasts only until June 30, 2019.

I can’t wait to support you along this journey!

Why Has My Pumping Output Decreased?

I love when we receive emails with questions that our blog readers could benefit from!  Here is a question from one of our mamas who is wondering why her pumping output has decreased.  

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Hi Robin!

I met with you awhile back when I first went back to work to set up a good pumping schedule.  It has worked like a charm these last 6 months.  Thank you for that!

My little guy is about to turn one and I’ve noticed a big reduction in my pumped breast milk the last few weeks. I’ve gone from pumping around 25 ounces of milk/work shift to around 15 oz.  It feels like it happened overnight. I’m just wondering if you have any suggestions on things I can do to get milk back or if this is just a normal progression.  I’m not ready to give up breastfeeding yet, but want to make sure he is getting enough milk.  He has been eating ALOT of solid food for about 5 months, so I’m sure this has had an impact on my supply :-(

Thanks for your time!

N

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Hi N,

I am thrilled to hear that our plan worked so well for you!  That is awesome!  

So, pumping output can dip for many reasons, regardless of baby’s age.....

1. Baby is sleeping through the night.  When babies start to go longer stretches in the middle of the night without eating, it can cause a mom’s milk supply to dip overall.  If your kiddo is going to sleep a few hours before you are, you can consider adding in a dream feed or pumping before you go to bed so that your breasts don’t go for such a long period of time without removing milk.  Also, if your kiddo wakes up in the middle of the night, you could consider breastfeeding at that time, rather than soothing back to sleep right away, if you are worried that your supply is dipping too low.
2. Pump suction is losing its stamina (which is HUGE and definitely common!)  I would recommend getting your pump suction checked immediately.  Many lactation consultants have pump suction gauges to check the pressure created when running.  A less-than-stellar functioning pump can definitely decrease pumping output, even when supply is right where it needs to be.  Renting a hospital-grade pump will also help you determine if your own pump is not working as well as it should.
3. Pumping frequency has gone down while at work.  As moms get closer to that year mark, many prefer to cut down on the pumping frequency at work.  Sometimes they are able to keep up their supply when this is done.  Others find that their milk supply is more sensitive, so it requires that extra pumping session.
4. Baby is eating solids before breastfeeding (when mom is with baby), so he isn't as hungry when breastfeeding. Up until about a year, solids should be offered after breastfeeding so that babies are getting the bulk of their nutrition from breast milk and getting solids after their bellies are more full.  
5. You got your period and are experiencing a temporary dip. When mom’s hormones are shifting due to her cycle, this can temporarily dip her supply.  
6.  Something else has changed in mom’s routine…. More working out on a regular basis, not eating enough calories per day, recovering from stomach flu or a cold, etc.  Again, all temporary.  But, make sure that you are eating at least 2000 calories a day to keep up your supply, as well as even extra, if you are working out.  If you are recovering from an illness, this will take a few days to rebound once you are feeling better.

That being said, 15oz of pumped milk at 1 year is pretty awesome!  At this point, your little guy doesn't need much more than that to complement all of the whole foods he is eating.  Plus, that doesn’t even take into account how much breastmilk he is getting from you while breastfeeding.  As long as he isn't getting frustrated at the breast, then just keep on plugging along, knowing that a breastfeeding baby should always be able to take out more than the pump.

Hope that helps!  Definitely get your pump suction checked, asap, and let me know if you have any other questions.

Warmly,

Robin

Check Out These Lactation Rooms at the San Diego Airport!

Traveling just got easier for breastfeeding and pumping moms traveling through the San Diego International Airport!  Just in time for the holidays, right?

Last month, the San Diego Nursing in Public Task Force was contacted by a local breastfeeding mom, Emily Mest, who frequently travels through the San Diego International Airport for work.  Here is Emily’s story, which set the wheels in motion to make breastfeeding and pumping easier for all moms traveling through the San Diego airport.

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Over the last year breastfeeding twins as a fulltime working mom, I’ve had a lot of  “air travel adventures”. There was the first time I pumped in my seat on a packed plane, and the glorious time an American Airlines stewardess curtained off her jumpseat area to give me a clean, private space. I’ll never forget bringing 25lbs of frozen milk back for the twins after a week in Costa Rica, and the kind United agent who waived the overweight bag fee since all the extra weight was breastmilk. I’ll  also never forget pumping tucked into a dirty corner of the Houston airport, just to have a tiny bit of privacy without pumping in an even dirtier bathroom.

Through it all, I couldn’t stop thinking how uncomfortable and emotionally draining this all was. From being away from my small babies, the normal stresses of air travel, and dealing with pumping, to clogged ducts, maintaining supply, and the ever-looming threat of mastitis.  If I hadn’t fought with everything I had to breastfeed my 35-weeker twins, I’d likely have thrown in the towel. If I hadn’t found a savvy working moms breastfeeding support group on Facebook, I doubt I would have had the confidence for those moments when I chose to throw on a cover and pump in front of hundreds of people in a crowded airport (choosing that over pumping in a foul-smelling bathroom). I found myself sad for other mamas who would have to endure this. I was disheartened thinking that if they didn’t have strong support or entrenched stubbornness, maybe they would stop breastfeeding because pumping during air travel can push you to your limits.

I had seen other mamas posting pictures of beautiful lactation rooms or lactation pods in other airports, so I started to investigate a bit. I emailed some of the pod companies to ask about how they go about getting their pods installed in airports. I Facebook messaged Jenna Ikuta, the manager of the San Diego Nursing in Public Task Force, responding to a post of hers about breastfeeding advocacy, and asked if she knew anything about Terminal 1 in the San Diego International Airport, where pumping is particularly hard. From Jenna, I found out that as of January 2016 a new law in California would require a place for moms to pump that is not a bathroom in all airport terminals that had over 1 million flights per year, except terminal 1 in San Diego.  

I became a mom on a mission: even if it happened after I was done breastfeeding, something had to be done about Terminal 1 in San Diego. As it turns out, my “mission” had really already been completed – the lactation room in Terminal 1 opened earlier this fall.  The San Diego Breastfeeding Coalition sent me an email to this regard, and I was shocked and excited. The following week I had a business trip and low and behold, after asking 5 employees someone finally knew what I was talking about and pointed me to the lactation room. It was beautiful.

There’s still a bit of work to be done: educating employees about the lactation room, putting up a well-placed sign or two, and spreading the word among nursing mamas. I posted in a few of the local breastfeeding groups, and added the location to the great app “Moms Pump Here” that helps moms find pumping locations around the country. I’m ironically writing this on my first business trip in over a year without a pump – I’m just gone for the day and the twins are only nursing morning and night now.  I hope that the next time you’re at the San Diego International Airport for a Southwest flight you enjoy the new facilities: just past security to your left, tucked under the escalators.

_____

After submitting Emily’s letter to the San Diego International Airport’s Customer Relations Coordinator (with the help of the UCSD’s Lactation Supportive Environments Department), we were thrilled to report back to Emily that there were, in fact, THREE Lactation Rooms at the San Diego airport.  It appeared that the security and airport staff just had no idea that all three existed.  Since this misinformation was brought to the airport’s attention, they have gone above and beyond to make these Lactation Rooms available and accessible to breastfeeding and pumping moms.  First, they have placed the breastfeeding symbol on their interactive map, showing where all of the lactation rooms are located. Secondly, they have sent out a press release so that all of their staff members will know about the Lactation Rooms and where they are located.  

Hopefully the last step will be to take Emily’s advice and affix well-placed signs throughout the airport so that moms can easily find these rooms when they need them.  

We would like to commend the San Diego International Airport for making breastfeeding and pumping moms a priority in their renovation plans and for creating a wonderful space where moms may have some well-deserved privacy.

Thank you, Emily, for bringing this to our attention so that all breastfeeding and pumping moms traveling through our airport can benefit from these rooms!  And, for moms who would like to breastfeed their children throughout the terminal, remember that California law protects your right to breastfeed in public!  

Safe travels during the busy holiday season, and beyond!

Have you seen a Lactation Room or a Mamava Lactation Suite at one of the airports you have traveled through?  Snap a photo and place it in the comments so that we can share this information with other traveling moms!

Breastfeeding Memoirs: Best 'Bring Your Baby to Work' Situation EVER!

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week 2015, we are sharing inspirational stories from breastfeeding/working moms.  

Today’s story was written by Margo Byrd.

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As a new mother, the fear of going back to work haunted me as my maternity leave days grew smaller and smaller.  Although I am one of the most fortunate mothers in the world who got to bring their child to work, I still feared that somehow it would not work out.   I worried that my company would decide my bundle of joy was not so joyous, or I would completely collapse under the pressure of feeding a 3 month old in my office. I personally struggled with postpartum.  I had irrational fears about what it would be like at work, felt completely helpless on multiple occasions, and had a very hard time letting my son out of my sight even to run to the bathroom (when my husband was home).  As those small fears subsided, coincidentally my bigger fear of breastfeeding in my new work environment grew. For the summer, my office would be shared with my boss as I am her assistant and during the school year I would have my own office (which happens to be all glass).  I work for the Boys and Girls Clubs of San Dieguito and while “Bring your child to work,” has always been a motto for our club, the fear of breastfeeding with 70-150 kids on the other side of my door was very apparent.  I envisioned curling up on a toilet wiping everything down with cleaners or hiding in dark closets on the floor while I lulled my 3 month old to sleep while comfort nursing. While I was promised a, “Safe,” environment to nurse I had no idea what to expect. The struggle of postpartum and the struggle of a new environment breastfeeding made me so nervous. I had never nursed in public, let alone nursed in front of my co-workers and peers.  Personally I was too scared and too naive to understand the support I would have at my job.

I had made up my mind when attending my first meeting with my supervisors to quit. With my hormonal self and hormonal worries I just felt that it was going to be a disaster.  Yet, as my son, Charlie, and I were greeted by each of my co-workers and supervisors, I started to see the support for my son’s health and well being would not only be my priority, but my entire leadership team’s priority.  I was greeted with warm smiles and happy faces.  To my surprise one of the first questions everyone asked was, “Are you still going to breastfeed?”  I sheepishly answered, “I am going to try,” and each person in my leadership team smiled and said, “Go girl!” The more people I talked with, the more I realized that our company fully supported my commitment to breastfeed him each and every day.  

One of the first things my company did was set up my office.  Not only did they put in a curtain to cover the glass in my office, my supervisor told me that whenever I needed to feed my son, I would have a quiet and safe place to do so.  They fashioned my office to make it more suitable for a changing table, pack and play, and a swing, as well as make sure my son had what he needed to be happy and healthy.  They removed large filing cabinets and replaced them with smaller ones so I could maneuver them so I could fit everything comfortably.  Over the summer, when I began to share an office with my boss, her commitment to making me feel comfortable was overwhelming.  My boss brought in extra items in case my son needed them, she did not put me on the schedule (so I could arrive within reasonable hours to take care of my son), and suggested making a sign for my door that said, “Feeding Charlie, Please Knock before Entering.”  I was completely overwhelmed with the support to breastfeed from the beginning.  And the most beautiful part of all of this was, even staff members who saw my sign on the door would knock and enter without hesitation.  Males, females, co-worker’s children and volunteers all felt comfortable and normal walking in.  I even held staff meetings with multiple staff at a time while feeding my son and the wonderful response to my question, “Would you mind if I fed my son,” was welcomed with an overwhelming, “Absolutely!”  

While I know I am blessed and incredibly lucky, I can only speak from my experience.  Each and every day is still challenging with our regular breastfeeding issues, but having the support of my co-workers and leadership team has been incredible.   I can contribute to my family, provide the best nutrients for my son through breastfeeding, and I can continue to watch my son grow within the walls of the Boys and Girls Clubs of San Dieguito.   

Breastfeeding Memoirs: Working as a Resident

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week 2015, we are sharing inspirational stories from breastfeeding/working moms.  

Today’s story was written by Amelia Sorenson.

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When I found out I was pregnant as I was about to start a surgical fellow, which can mean a seven day, sixty (sometimes eighty) hour work week with erratic long nights of call, I thought a lot about what it would be like to do the work while pregnant and how to manage maternity leave (six weeks, worked the day I delivered). What I didn't think about was how I would establish a breastfeeding relationship during those first few short weeks and how I would manage to keep breastfeeding when I went back.  

PHOTO BY ERIN AT THE THEO LOVES

Once my son was born I realized I should have been preparing for breastfeeding. I went to a breastfeeding support group three times in the first week and am so grateful to the mothers I met and the support from the lactation consultants.  (First piece of advice - figure out support groups BEFORE baby arrives and utilize them early. Every time baby latches he is learning what to do, so the quicker you can get him doing it right, the better).

The night before I started back at work my brand-new electric pump made one long whirrrr and wouldn't turn on again….necessitating a frantic trip to buy a hand pump (Second - buy a hand pump just in case). I was more than anxious that first day back with my little cooler and hand pump.  Fortunately, I work in a “baby-friendly” hospital and a NICU nurse gave me a kit to the hospital grade pump and a few days later I found the most beautiful lactation room with a view of the ocean (Third - Figure out where you will be pumping before you leave for maternity leave).   

I’ve never been able to make a schedule since surgical case length and clinic patients are too different, so I decided that food for my baby had to be on the list of priorities and that some pumping is better than no pumping and tried to pump every three to four hours. (Fourth – Feeding your baby is something important; so let yourself treat it like it is a priority).

Orthopedics is 90% men and I am the first woman in a long time to have a baby, so I’ve been straightforward about what I am doing, hoping that it will make it easier for the next resident. (Fifth – Tell people what you are doing.  You have to do it a lot and really aren’t taking a break.)     

Now that we have made it to 6 months and have enough supply to have donated milk I want to say that you can do it too! Don’t give up early or think that because you are working long hours you can’t do it.  Most of all enjoy the time with your baby before your go back to work. 

PHOTO BY ERIN AT THE THEO LOVES

Breastfeeding Memoirs: Returning to Work in the Navy

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week 2015, we are sharing inspirational stories from breastfeeding/working -- moms.  

Today’s story was written by Cinda Brown.

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I’m an active duty Navy officer and mother of two girls. My journey to becoming a working, breastfeeding mother started almost 4 years ago with the birth of my first daughter. Breastfeeding was challenging in more ways than I could have imagined. I thought that it would just be easy and natural, not knowing that those two little words can mean so many different things.

My baby had a high palate combined with tongue and lip tie. I had no idea what this was. All I knew is that my nipple was damaged and cut from her very first latch and that it hurt each time there after. Soon I was scabbed and crying each time she latched. So much pain. I didn’t know where to get help and the nurses at the hospital told me it would get better with time. When my daughter was about 5 weeks old I finally met a nurse who promptly referred me to a pediatrician who was also an IBCLC. Her issues were diagnosed and we were then set up for a revision. I learned so much from this IBCLC. He taught my husband what to look for and we both were sent home with more knowledge that helped us on our road to success. My husband knew what looked wrong and was there to help me reposition. He supported me through all of the pain and sleepless nights. He did diaper changes and baths and allowed me to keep working on breastfeeding, instead of asking to bottle feed so he could bond. He found other ways to really bond with our baby girl while ensuring that our breastfeeding relationship would be preserved. Partners play such an important role and I can’t say this enough!

Once my daughter and I finally started to get the hang of breastfeeding, it was time for me to go back to work. I struggled with a very intense oversupply and was worried about how I was going to manage it when I was back at work. It had been difficult enough to manage it when I just had to take care of my baby at home, but now I was looking at adding in daycare, going back to work full time, and still trying to keep up with everything else that needed to be done at home. While many people I’ve encountered have told me how lucky I am to have oversupply, I also know that it’s very difficult to manage. It takes an extraordinary amount of time to pump, collect, freeze, and store the milk not to mention the washing of all of the pump parts. Adding this extra needed time into an already compressed day was overwhelming to think of, much less try to put into action.

We were very lucky to find a daycare teacher who was experienced with bottle-feeding breastfed babies. That was hurdle #1. She was an amazing communicator, which helped the process so much more. The day came to go back to work and I still remember it like it was yesterday because the experience is forever imprinted in my memory. Leaving my baby girl with someone new for the first time to go back to work was just devastating to me. And her. For me I felt like it absolutely went against my innate knowing to separate us. But yet I had no choice and my leave was over so it was time to go back. In that moment I would have given anything to stay home with her. Having a caring provider and making the most of the time that I did have with my baby while at home helped to ease the separation but it definitely took time before that ache started to subside. I really had no idea about the obstacles I was about to encounter and had no one to guide me along the way.

Day one back at work, I found myself in a land of cubicles, with no place to pump breastmilk. Over the next several months I improvised wherever I could to find a place to  pump when I needed to. I pumped in bathrooms, in my car in the parking lot, in my car on the way to and from meetings, basically anywhere I could find that would provide some sense of privacy and still allow me to complete work requirements. It was far from ideal and was super stressful, and mastitis and clogged ducts became more usual than unusual. I had to wake up super early before work so that I could pump since I would be so engorged. Wash parts. Try not to forget parts, bottles, or storage bags. Or the plug for the pump! So many things to remember!

My job had been so busy and intense before I had my baby and I knew that it was going to be no different when I returned. The biggest challenge was trying to coordinate pumping between meetings that for the most part I didn’t have a lot of control over scheduling. Many times meetings would come up at the last minute, or would be rescheduled right in the middle of when I’d need to pump. I had to figure out a way to talk to my supervisors about my need to pump, the importance of keeping a regular schedule, and at the same time keep my head held high.

In the military culture, it can be intimidating to ask your supervisor for permission to do things outside of the norm or what’s expected. I wanted to be able to show that I was able to handle it all: be a successful officer and a successful mother. But the reality is that each demands 100% or more of a person, and there’s only so much effort and time that can be allotted to each. Some compromises had to be made, and it was up to me to advocate for myself and my baby. I’m not going to say that the conversations were the most comfortable that I’ve ever had or the most easy, or that they were well received. They certainly were not. But I thought of all of the other more junior women going through the same journey and realized that if I couldn’t advocate and speak up for myself, then there’s no way that my example would set other women up for success.

I asked for what I needed and over time it became more normal for everyone I worked with. I did find out something very interesting in that most of the people I worked with were male, and that their wives/partners were full time stay at home parents. None of them were mothers who had breastfed and many of their wives had not breastfed. Education and communication with my male leadership helped them to realize the importance of breastfeeding and how it could in fact make the workplace better for everyone since breastfed babies tend to get sick less often. Mothers are able to get back into fitness standards more quickly since breastfeeding can help mothers lose weight. These are only a couple of examples amongst many. I know that the Navy is keenly interested in retaining females in order to have females rise in the ranks of leadership. Advocating for breastfeeding is one step in the right direction to retain mothers in the military. Mothers who are shamed or made to feel that they can’t fit in are not likely to want to stay as a part of an organization that can’t accept them for doing something that’s good for both their baby and themselves.

After several months of making do, a fellow military breastfeeding mother and I set out on a journey to have our commands come into compliance with current Navy breastfeeding instructions and guidance. This meant that our command was required to provide a room that wasn’t a bathroom space, with privacy, a locking door, a refrigerator/freezer, outlets, and furniture. It also allowed for time to pump milk that would accommodate what the mother would need to maintain her supply. It was a long process, but with diligence and help from many people, by the time I left my command there were 5 mother’s rooms set up for breastfeeding mothers to pump milk and an instruction that provided guidance so that mothers were protected in their ability to pump breastmilk.  Each room had a multi-user pump and pump kits donated by the San Diego County Breastfeeding Coalition. The command won the SDCBC Breastfeeding Friendly Workplace Award in 2014, which was such an amazing accomplishment given where it had started from. A monthly breastfeeding support group led by Sarah Lin, IBCLC, started in 2013 and continues to this day. She selflessly stepped up to donate her time to help countless mothers who have so benefitted from her expertise when there was a definite need.

I’m now a mother of two and I honestly thought that going back to work for the 2nd time with an infant would be easier since I had done it before, but it’s been just as challenging. I’m at a new command, so I have new people to interact with. Dynamics are different and the juggling act of timing pumping around work requirements is still as alive today, if not more than it was when I went back to work with my first daughter. Mastitis and clogged ducts continue to make their presence known, which was disappointing since I thought that I had them figured out. Goes to show that just because it worked last time doesn’t mean that it will work this time. Each baby is so very different, as is each pregnancy and postpartum period. I’ve been known to excuse myself from meetings with very senior personnel so I can go pump, which hasn’t been easy. I know that I need to take care of myself so that I’ll be at work tomorrow. Sacrificing today isn’t worth getting sick tomorrow and I keep telling myself that. Because there’s a part of me that still struggles to have a voice and speak up for what I need.

I pumped for 2 years for my first daughter. She will be 4 this fall and breastfeeds right along with my infant. I’m pumping for my infant at work and will continue to do so until it’s the right time to stop. I never thought that I’d make it this far in our breastfeeding journey, but now I can’t imagine it being any other way. There have been so many that I can attribute our success to in our San Diego community. The amazing support of IBCLCs and mothers has carried me when I needed to be lifted up too many times to count. I hope that through my efforts I can help other military mothers achieve the success that they envision for breastfeeding their children, whether it be for days or years.

Breastfeeding Memoirs: Trusting my Body when Returning to Work

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week 2015, we are sharing inspirational stories from breastfeeding/working moms.  

Today’s story was written by Georgina.

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When I had to go back to work I knew I wanted to keep providing my son with the very best I could offer and one of them was his dear breastmilk.  I was very confused with the whole pumping at work idea. I had done some research at work before delivering as to where the lactation room was and what the process was to reserve the room.  I work at a hospital and I thought that just by going to the L&D department everyone would know where our lactation room was and it was going to be very easy to find.  Well to my surprise, no one knew exactly what I was referring to, all the nurses looked at me with puzzled faces and confused as to why an 8 month pregnant employee was asking about this room and they didn't even know where it was!  When I finally found it, it was a rather disappointing, sad room that looked like a utility closet, but at least it was clean and it had the necessities: a chair, a desk and a fridge.  

I took the longest maternity time off I could take with and without pay and in the meantime I read and read and read everything I could about breastfeeding and pumping at work.  Breastfeeding had its challenges, but we quickly adapted to one another and it started to feel like a breeze.  It was near the end of my baby bonding time that I started to become stressed about the whole logistics about pumping at work. The  more I researched, the more confused I got. How many hours can breastmilk be in the fridge? What if he didn't finish the whole bottle?  Was it safe to use it again? How many ounces to feed? How often? What if I don't make enough milk? Ugh! Sooo frustrating! So many doubts! So many mixed emotions!!  I joined several breastfeeding support groups and would often go to baby weight-ins just to make sure baby was eating enough only through my breast.  But, how would I know if we were overfeeding him when using the bottle while I was at work? What about underfeeding him,? Would he prefer the bottle over me?   I decided to attend aBreastfeeding for the Working Mom class through the SD Breastfeeding Center by Robin Kaplan.  Even though I had already read what she said, it was extremely reassuring to hear it by a someone who had gone through it before. Robin was very patient.  She sat with me and we made a "pumping at work plan."  How many times and the estimated hours that I would be pumping.  I still remember my pumping schedule as if it was yesterday. Nurse at 5am,  pump at 8:30am,  pump at 11:45am and nurse at 3pm.  Slightly adjust schedule as breasts were engorged when I would feed the baby earlier than 5am. It worked like a charm!

It was definitely a learning curve for the nanny and our family members who were taking care of our little guy while we were at work.  We had to teach everyone not to shake breast milk - only swirl.  Fat particles in breastmilk are normal.  It’s normal to have different colors.  And never ever dump any breast milk that smelled fine... we could always make breastmilk soap, lotion and even use it for rashes and cuts.  Everyone, myself included, has been amazed about the little we knew about the amazing properties of breastmilk and how powerful it is.  We learned about paced feeding and growth spurts the hard way and we succeeded.

I pumped until little dude was about 11-13 months.  That was last year when our summer in San Diego was just extreme.  During the day while I was at work he was asking for more water than breast milk and shortly after he refused to drink breastmilk from his sippy cup only from the tap :)   He is past 2 years old now and we are still nursing strong.  It has been a marvelous, unexpected experience for both of us.  

Every once in a while I still pump to make our little dude some breast milk soap and I was very happy to find a beautiful bright freshly remodeled lactation room at the hospital where I still work.

If I could go back in time I would tell myself to trust my body to do its magic.  Eat oatmeal, drink lots of water, watch pictures/videos of baby while you are pumping, relax and watch your baby being nourished by your wonderful body.  Take advice with a grain of salt.  Everyone is different, trust the relationship you have with that amazing human creature your same body nourished for 9 months in your belly.  You can do this! You are meant to do this and you can!

Breastfeeding Memoirs: My Three Bs

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week 2015, we are sharing inspirational stories from breastfeeding/working moms.  

Today’s story was written by Louanne Ferro.

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Prior to May 27th, 2014, the word baby meant something very different to me: my baby was my business. At the young age of 17, I entered the world of cosmetology. Knowing I wanted to strive and create greatness in my industry, I focused on building. In 13 year's time, I had nurtured my baby and created a small empire. One of the leading educators for the world's largest professional beauty company, I frequently traveled to teach my craft.  In the heart of North Park, I opened my very own salon. My baby was thriving and I was the proud mother, spending further countless hours tending to make it what it is today.  Then, May 27th, 2014 happened, changing everything I knew about babies.

The test was positive. To my shock, my work "baby" was going to be replaced with a real-life, micro-human! My pregnancy was something my husband and I had been hoping for and we were thrilled!

As the days went by and I soaked in the reality of this new chapter in our lives, I quickly realized that the acronym B.B. meant far more than a makeup product; my new "B.B." was Business and Baby! I started to prepare myself with all things human baby-related. In addition to the copious things on lists and registries, preparing for the physical exit of my child by way of my body required some serious consideration. My birth plan was short and extreme: 1. Do whatever you need to do to deliver a healthy baby, and 2. If baby and mom get separated, dad goes with baby. My preparations seemed both rational and thoughtful.

As the months crawled forward, I was asked, "Do you plan to breastfeed?" "Sure," I would state casually. I mean, doesn't everybody do it? The portrayal of happy mothers stroking their babies' heads seems the most natural and obvious choice. The commitment to breastfeeding tacked a third B on my list. Self-assured, I reiterated to myself, "Three Bs and three-step birth plan." Simple right?

As the ideas gestated, so did my little human. On February 1st, 2015 when most people seemed to be watching the Patriots win the Super Bowl after the controversial "Deflategate," I was in labor. I had no delusions of grandeur, and felt that the experience progressed well, or at least as well as it could. Literally dancing myself into labor, and thus, the hospital, I was celebrating my salon partner's thirtieth birthday only the night before.

In a lighthearted moment of somewhat inappropriate comedic relief, as I was pushing my sweet boy into the world, my husband, nurse staff, and I were laughing while Maureen, the midwife, styled my son's full head of hair mid-birth canal into a Mohawk for his grand exit. Ezra entered the world healthy and strong, with all the right parts and two healthy lungs. Things were great, that is, until they weren't.  Laying him on my naked breast, as I looked into his eyes for the first time, all I could say was, "I'm going to be sick." Those weren't the words I was expecting to first say to my baby.

Before I knew it, Ezra was being transferred to my husband chest and my birth plan, the one that everyone says won't be needed, became needed. Ripping itself from my uterus, the placenta dislodged, and I, unknowingly, quickly began to bleed out. Because the hospital staff was great, the bleeding quickly stopped and I was generally unaware of the severity my body endured. Before I fully understood what had happened, I was on the mend. So I thought...

Latching my son in the hospital, he seemed to latch well. We left the hospital feeling very supported and excited to start our new lives as parents, and I was eager to be a mother who could sustain life solely from my own body. This, too, proved that things could go well until again, they don't. Shortly after arriving to our home as a family of three, I noticed my son no longer wanted to latch. Unable to wake him for feeds, we were heading down a slippery slope at excruciatingly high speeds. With no formula in the house because it wasn't part of the "plan" and no idea what was wrong, helplessness took hold of me and rattled this new parent's head and heart. Breast feeding should be easy, right? Everyone does it! It's natural.

I held my baby through the night, the first night home, praying we'd make it until morning when I would seek professional support. There was no marveling over the beauty of childbirth or reveling in the moment that our chests rose and fell together. This was the worst night imaginable.  In the mean time, it was after midnight and my husband scoured for 24-hour stores, and finding none, finally sought out a NICU nurse at the hospital to get the formula an after-hours advice nurse suggested.  

As the sun rose, I ran into the Kaiser breastfeeding support group, crying my eyes out as I told the head lactation counselor that I was starving my baby and I didn't know why. I was failing, and failing was something I was never good at doing. Rose, this angel, this pinnacle of breastfeeding knowledge, sat with me most of the support group and promptly made me a one-on-one appointment following the support group that day. Ezra had lost over 20 percent of his birth weight and was comparable to a premature baby. She asked me to share my story leading up to that point, and as soon as I mentioned the hemorrhage, she exclaimed, "There's your road block. You're not broken, you're healing." Not fully understanding, I listened, captivated by what the angel was telling me. She explained to me that our bodies can almost always produce milk for our babies, but major blood loss was one hindrance that halts milk production in its track. My body was healing me so it then could support my baby.

A woman - a new mom, rather - on a mission, I spent 24/7 learning how to help kickstart my supply, all the while supplementing at the breast, and educating myself on how to properly feed my baby. This harrowing and hormonal journey took a couple weeks, but my milk eventually came in and I had a new routine. I referred to myself as "The Dairy Queen," and I was always open for sweet treats!

Realizing quickly, in order to be successful with breastfeeding, I also needed to be knowledgable. This, after all, was one of the most important jobs I'd ever had. My short eight-week maternity leave was filled with work, just not the type of work I was accustomed to. My 13-year-old older child, my business, was doing well, but still needed my care. Much like a regular teen, it seemed as though it could self-manage, but a true mother, I realized it needed me to continue to grow. A new balancing act had begun. My new baby and breastfeeding also needed my constant care, and as the weeks passed, I slowly figured out how to balance my three Bs.

The key to success in working and breastfeeding, I have found, is to set boundaries with myself, my clients, and colleagues. Making food for my baby was just as important as my business. My work schedule has a pump break every three hours and for no circumstance should that pump break be booked - after all, it is my most important appointment of the day. When traveling for my company, it's made known that pump breaks must be allotted in order for me to take the job. Compromising my need to feed is not an option. My hands-free pump bra and car adapter for my breast pump have become my best friends. They really do support me. The ladies at the drive through coffee shop now know me as the pumping, purple haired mom as I pull through for my iced coffee while pumping on my way to work. My friends on speaker often ask, "Is that noise I hear your pump?" I say, "Sure is" with a smile, knowing that I am finding balance.

My flanges might not be a Marc Jacobs accessory, and my black pump bag may not be Prada, but I wear them with the same sense of excitement because I'm doing something I thought I couldn't achieve. They are also symbolic reminders of a label I do wear: mother, maker of milk and master of the Three-B balance, business, baby, and breastfeeding. My journey has not been lengthy, but on August 1, the first day of World Breastfeeding Week, I will celebrate my six-month "nurse-iversary." I've always argued that you can't hold a driven woman back, and now I know another word synonymous with driven woman is "mom!"

Breastfeeding Memoirs: Persevering when Returning to Work

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week 2015, we are sharing inspirational stories from breastfeeding/working moms.  

Today’s story was written by Maggie.

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I had a long, stressful delivery that resulted in an emergency c-section, a tongue tie revision on day 2, followed by 48 hours in NICU. I was given a nipple shield, instructed to supplement with formula through an SNS and sent on my way. Breastfeeding was painful and difficult even with the shield, I went to many support group meetings and did weighed feeds and was able to stop supplementing. We were also dealing with a "colicky" baby until about week 8 . Then at week 10, I was able to get off the nipple shield with the help of an LC at Mary Birch. I was supposed to go back to work after 12 weeks but I was so exhausted and we were finally starting to turn a corner where we could actually enjoy our time with baby, I thankfully was able to extend my maternity leave to 16 weeks.

This prelude is to say that with all the struggles we went through in the beginning, I was very anxious about going back to work, whether I would make enough milk, whether he would get nipple confusion or a bottle preference. I worked so hard and suffered through so much literal blood, sweat, and tears to make breastfeeding work I started to really resent the fact that I had to go to work and interrupt our breastfeeding relationship.

Thankfully through my breastfeeding support group journeys I came to the San Diego Breastfeeding Center. She told me about the upcoming "going back to work" class. I was so excited! I had so many questions. I had scoured the internet, and learned a lot through websites, but still needed much more guidance and support. The information from that class helped me plan and feel prepared to go back to work.

Before I went on maternity leave, I worked out with my HR department where my lactation accommodation would be, but I didn't fully understand my needs until I returned. It was obvious that what we had planned was not going to be feasible long-term, so the first two weeks back were a challenge until they were able to give me my own office and make it private so that I could pump there. My pre-baby brain was trying to cause as little disturbance as possible to the rest of the office when planning my accommodations, but once I was back from maternity leave my only concern was making enough precious milk for my little guy! I'm grateful to have a supportive team at work that have had no issues whatsoever about giving me what I needed.

The first day back I barely pumped 9 oz. I was aiming for 12-15oz. I tried to keep calm and take it one day at a time. I still try to keep this mindset and not worry if I pump a little less some days. Gradually overtime I started consistently pumping 12 oz every day, and for a while was getting 16oz and was able to build a decent freezer stash. One of the LCs I met along my journeys suggested 5 minutes of hand expression after every pumping session, and that has worked wonders for me. It's amazing how much the pump leaves behind. The facebook group, "working moms who make breastfeeding work" has been also been an amazing resource.

We're now almost 4 months back at work and things are going smoothly. Bedsharing has been a saving grace...it helps my supply to let him nurse all night long, I don't worry about whether he is getting enough to eat or not, and I'm well rested for work each morning despite waking up every 2-3 hours all night. Plus its awesome snuggly bonding time that I miss out on while I'm working.

While I plan to breastfeed as long as baby wants to, I can't wait to break up with my pump in 4.5 months once he turns one!