Help A Mama Out: Ways Partners Can Bond with Baby Besides the Bottle

Help a Mama Out Topic of the Week: How does your partner bond with your baby besides giving a bottle?

So many partners who take my prenatal breastfeeding class want to know how they can start bonding with their babies besides giving bottles.  Here are a few articles about partner support, as well as YOUR fantastic tips about how your partner and baby bond together.

Lactation Matters: Fathers, Breastfeeding, and Bonding

Nancy Mohrbacher: The Mother’s Partner and the Breastfed Baby

Best for Babes: 14 Ways for Dads (and Partners) to be Engaged with their Breastfed Babes

Chelsea – He wears him in the baby carrier a lot and they like to read books together.

Shelly – When they were small, the only way we could get them to sleep was to put them in jammies on Daddy’s chest.  It still works like a charm, almost at 13 months!

Erin – Babywearing and skin to skin!  Too cute!

Cassandra – Every night he gives our son a coconut oil rub down…. It’s become such a bonding experience for them that when I even try to do this, my son whines and arches his back and crawls away.

Tiffany – He takes care of him in the morning while I sleep in.  Change his diaper, play with him, and incorporate him into his ‘before-work’ exercise routine: calf raises with baby on shoulder, squats with baby in arms.

Ashley – Ours are bigger now, but when they were newbies and crying, he’d turn on Bunny Wailer and dance around the house with them.  I still get teary when I hear Blackheart Man.

Lisa – Babywearing, bath time together, snuggles, walks, playing on the floor together.

Stephanie – Cuddles and babywearing.  I heard a good quite recently about fathers.  “It’s a father’s job to show his child that love doesn’t just come from food.”

Valerie – My wife spends lots of snuggle time with our daughter.  Between babywearing, rocking, singing, and cuddling, she has quite the knack for soothing our baby.

Liz – My son hasn’t met daddy yet, as he is in Afghanistan, but when our daughter was a baby my husband would pretend fight with her.  He would go all out…. Have her in the air, ‘slow mo’ kick her little baby feet into his face making some dramatic noises and rolling all over the bed with her.  She wasn’t even a year old so it looked hilarious!  Thank goodness I got a video of it!  My hubby will also do diapers, carry, and co-sleep… the whole nine, but it’s his playtime bonding I love the most!

Mallory - My daughter has never had a bottle, so aside from helping with all of the other baby duties, he always reads her a bedtime story before I nurse her to sleep.

Tasha - Dad is a master burper and swaddler with our little one.  He's also a pro at getting him to sleep because milk just doesn't do it some nights. 

Jessica - By letting mommy sleep when he gets home in the mornings.  My son love to fall asleep on his chest.

Thanks to everyone who responded to our questions on our San Diego Breastfeeding Center and The Boob Group Facebook pages.  Check back every week for a new Help a Mama Out tip!

Here are a few more articles on our website, specifically dealing with partner support:

Advice for a Newly Breastfeeding Mama's Partner

Partner Support: Can it make or break your breastfeeding experience?

Help a Mama Out: Overcoming Nursing in Public Anxiety

‘Help a Mama Out’ Topic of the Week: What are your favorite tips for overcoming anxiety about breastfeeding in public?

Sandy: Take along a support person

Melanie: Practice in front of a mirror.  Another thing that helped me was to just focus all of my attention on my baby.  I learned not to look around for a reaction from a stranger.

Miranda: Bring a light shawl to cover up, and remember, you are protected by law to breastfeed in public!

Marie: Have someone with you who is either a) also nursing and has no issues nursing in public or b) is super supportive of you nursing in public.  Also, the first couple of times, go somewhere you are already comfortable, like a local bookstore or Starbucks. 

Sara: So whatever makes you most comfortable!  Practice, practice, practice!  So it in front of people you are comfortable with first, then adjust slowly.  Find your comfort zone and be happy with it.

Kat: I started going to places and having play dates with other moms who nursed in public.

Keep Austin Nursing in Public: Check out The Badass Breastfeeders free e-course: Becoming a Badass Public Breastfeeder.  Know your rights (breastfeedinglaw.com).  Surround yourself, even if it’s only online, with a support system.  Breastfeed in a bubble… I never pay much attention to those around me when I’m nursing.  I’m not looking around for real or possibly imagined dirty looks or sideways glances.

KC: I wore a nursing tank with a t-short on top.  Undo the tank from the top and lift your shirt up from the bottom and use that to shield yourself until baby latches.  Then the shirt just rests on the baby’s cheek.  Second he popped off, I pulled my shirt down and fixed the tank from the top.  It helped me feel like I wasn’t exposing everything to everybody.  My friends called me the ‘stealth nurser’ because no one knew I was nursing.

Lisa: Practice in a breastfeeding support group.  Also, just do it and your comfort level will increase over time.

Raquel: Try practicing breastfeeding in a carrier.  I nursed all 3 of my kids in my ergo.  Not only was I hands free, but no one was the wiser when I had the little sleeping hood over their heads.

Marybeth: Take a buddy – someone who will talk to you, smile and chat with you, and treat you like it’s normal (it is!!!) while you tackle your anxiety.

Amanda: Start gradual.  Start in your car with a cover.  Move to a quiet out of the way corner.  Eventually, you’ll just get rid of the cover (because your baby will hate it!) and feed anytime, anywhere.  I have Momzelle shirts, but you can easily make your own as well.  Keeps my tummy covered and lets me feed discretely.

Brooke: A deep v-neck shirt works great to pull your boob up and out….LOL!

Michelle: I use a muslin blanket when I’m out.  It’s nice and cool and you can tuck it into your bra strap for security.  You’ll be rocking NIP in no time!

Natural Parenting: Just start.  It may be awkward at first, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.  Also, what helped me was to nurse uncovered in front of a mirror at home – once I saw in the mirror what everyone else saw (i.e. how little flesh is really exposed), it made it a lot easier for me.

Stephanie: This video says it all