Help a Mama Out: Tips for Talking with your Boss about Pumping

'Help a Mama Out' Topic of the Week:

Tips for Talking with Your Boss about Pumping

What's your best tip for discussing your pumping rights/schedule with your boss? 

Shelly Hovies Rogers: Be assertive with your rights, but be flexible and willing to work with your boss and coworkers.  I found my workplace to be quite accommodating to me when I nicely, but matter of fact, told them what I needed.  Also, although I didn’t have to quote the state law, I familiarized myself with it, just in case I needed to use it. 

Kelly Reyes: Before I left for maternity leave, I discussed my need to pump with my boss and then HR, just to make sure we were all on the same page.  When I had issues with the way the ‘wellness room’ schedule was being managed, my boss went to bat for me and fixed the problem that day! 

Marie Bishop: My best advice is to know the law and stand up for yourself and your baby.  In states, such as California, it is required by law that your employer provides a non-restroom space that is private for you to pump.

Meggin Dueckman: We just talked about it!  We’re all pretty close at work, so it was no problem.  I was the first of our staff to want/need to pump at work.  Mind you, here in Canada we get a year of maternity leave, so it’s not as common for people to want to pump as frequently when they return to work.  I only pumped 1 times a day at work, more for my own comfort!

Jamie Howell Swope: As a teacher at a school, it wasn’t an easy process, but I went in knowing the law and advised my principal ahead of time why I wanted to meet with her.  That way she had time to think about how to make it work, too.

Kat Picson Berling: I was really lucky in that 2 of my coworkers were pumping moms, so they had paved the way.  I told my boss that I was going to take 2 pumping breaks at x and y time and I will be in this office and it will take 15 minutes.  He was fine with it.  I’m not going to lie…. Because I had a cubicle at work, it was sometimes difficult to find a place to pump.  Even our HR coordinator wasn’t sympathetic for me.  Just make sure to know the law. 

Chantel McComber: My advice would be to put your fears aside.  Sometimes it’s hard as a working mom to ask for things because not everyone has them.  Remember that you are doing this for your health and your baby’s health and those are two things that should always come first.

Jennifer Haak: When I discussed my date of return, I told my boss that I needed a lock installed on my office door and I explained why.

Andrea Blanco: First, know your right.  Be sure that your company falls under those rights.  Then file that information away and try *not* to use it as it can be perceived as a threat (and no one likes to be threatened.)  Second, have a plan in place.  I find that if you’re willing to have the conversation in advance, go into it as sweet as possible, and have it all planned out as to how it will work for you (with consideration given to work environment/demands/pumping law.)  Then, it is much harder for your employer to say no. 

For the United States Lactation Accommodation laws, check out Break Time for Nursing Mothers

Help a Mama Out: Overcoming Nursing in Public Anxiety

‘Help a Mama Out’ Topic of the Week: What are your favorite tips for overcoming anxiety about breastfeeding in public?

Sandy: Take along a support person

Melanie: Practice in front of a mirror.  Another thing that helped me was to just focus all of my attention on my baby.  I learned not to look around for a reaction from a stranger.

Miranda: Bring a light shawl to cover up, and remember, you are protected by law to breastfeed in public!

Marie: Have someone with you who is either a) also nursing and has no issues nursing in public or b) is super supportive of you nursing in public.  Also, the first couple of times, go somewhere you are already comfortable, like a local bookstore or Starbucks. 

Sara: So whatever makes you most comfortable!  Practice, practice, practice!  So it in front of people you are comfortable with first, then adjust slowly.  Find your comfort zone and be happy with it.

Kat: I started going to places and having play dates with other moms who nursed in public.

Keep Austin Nursing in Public: Check out The Badass Breastfeeders free e-course: Becoming a Badass Public Breastfeeder.  Know your rights (breastfeedinglaw.com).  Surround yourself, even if it’s only online, with a support system.  Breastfeed in a bubble… I never pay much attention to those around me when I’m nursing.  I’m not looking around for real or possibly imagined dirty looks or sideways glances.

KC: I wore a nursing tank with a t-short on top.  Undo the tank from the top and lift your shirt up from the bottom and use that to shield yourself until baby latches.  Then the shirt just rests on the baby’s cheek.  Second he popped off, I pulled my shirt down and fixed the tank from the top.  It helped me feel like I wasn’t exposing everything to everybody.  My friends called me the ‘stealth nurser’ because no one knew I was nursing.

Lisa: Practice in a breastfeeding support group.  Also, just do it and your comfort level will increase over time.

Raquel: Try practicing breastfeeding in a carrier.  I nursed all 3 of my kids in my ergo.  Not only was I hands free, but no one was the wiser when I had the little sleeping hood over their heads.

Marybeth: Take a buddy – someone who will talk to you, smile and chat with you, and treat you like it’s normal (it is!!!) while you tackle your anxiety.

Amanda: Start gradual.  Start in your car with a cover.  Move to a quiet out of the way corner.  Eventually, you’ll just get rid of the cover (because your baby will hate it!) and feed anytime, anywhere.  I have Momzelle shirts, but you can easily make your own as well.  Keeps my tummy covered and lets me feed discretely.

Brooke: A deep v-neck shirt works great to pull your boob up and out….LOL!

Michelle: I use a muslin blanket when I’m out.  It’s nice and cool and you can tuck it into your bra strap for security.  You’ll be rocking NIP in no time!

Natural Parenting: Just start.  It may be awkward at first, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.  Also, what helped me was to nurse uncovered in front of a mirror at home – once I saw in the mirror what everyone else saw (i.e. how little flesh is really exposed), it made it a lot easier for me.

Stephanie: This video says it all

Help a Mama Out: Surviving Your Baby’s Witching Hours

‘Help a Mama Out’ Topic of the Week: What are Your Best Tips for Surviving Your Baby’s Witching Hours?

Ashley: Wearing the baby during the evening hours.  Prepping dinner earlier in the day so that I didn’t have to do it during my baby’s fussy time.  Setting aside special activities for my then 3-year old that she could do on her own or with little help from me, just in case I needed to be sitting on the couch, constantly nursing the baby.  Reminding myself that this was temporary and would pass!

Karen: Feeding a little at a time, more frequently.  I read when #4 had HORRIBLE colic that there are some cultures where babies never experience colic.  In all of these communities, babies are worn and are on and off the boob all day, so they eat small meals very frequently.  

Kat: Support from my husband was really crucial during this time. I would nurse my son and concentrate on him while my husband got dinner ready.  Holding and wearing baby helped the most.  Also, fresh air worked wonders!

Lori: Babywearing…. I would also batch cook on the weekend when Daddy was home so that come dinner time, all I had to do was heat it up.

Catie: Remain calm…. Baby seemed to sense the angst and it only made things worse.  Often baby and I both needed a breather.  My husband was deployed when my son went through the worst of it so handing him off wasn’t an option.  I would set him down in a swing or bouncy chair with a toy, walk to another room and take 30 seconds minimum to breathe, drink some water, etc.  If baby was happy, I took a break away from him since we were obviously over-stimulating each other.  Then, back to nursing, rocking, wearing, walking, etc…. until we could both get a good nap!

Janina: Babywearing, smaller feedings, burp a lot, white noise, gripe water at the first sign of crying, rocking, and time. 

Christina: Wearing and then walking – close to mom, plus amazing fresh air and rhythmic movements.  Sometimes getting into a warm bath with my daughter helped, too.

Shelly: Lowering my expectations.  Fussy babies meant nothing was getting done except baby care.  Going for a walk helped clear my head and the change of scenery almost always calmed them down.

Kathryn: Bouncing on the exercise ball and the vacuum was a lifesaver.

Grace: Adjusting my diet (cutting out gluten and dairy because those were his colic culprits).  Make the day less chaotic by staying home or no visitors, low lights, soothing music.  Skin to skin.  Take a warm bath with baby on my chest.  Baby massage with some coconut oil and lavender oil.  Colic Calm if it lasts more than an hour.

Turath: Our baby’s witching hour turned out to be a dairy sensitivity, so after I cut out dairy we haven’t had any problems.  Definitely babywearing!  This article has lots of great tips…. It’s sleep related, but I think many of the tips will work for calming a fussy baby.  http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/fussy-baby/31-ways-get-your-baby-sleep-and-stay-asleep

Rhianna: Try putting them to bed earlier.  Once we instituted a 6pm bedtime, it was MUCH easier!

Kenyatta: Wear them!  Familiarity (routine, music, lighting, smells) and calm.

Here are a few of my favorite articles:

A Checklist of 36 Time-Tested Baby Calmers 

The Phenomenon of Late Afternoon/Early Evening Infant Crying: Part 1

The Phenomenon of Late Afternoon/Early Evening Infant Crying: Part 2

Help a Mama Out: Foods that Support Your Milk Supply

We know it can be difficult to eat those 1800-2000 (or more if you are exercising) calories a day to keep up a robust milk supply while breastfeeding, so here are some fantastic tips for delicious, easy, nutritious snacks!  Remember: Think healthy fats, complete proteins, and green veggies!

Here are some of the most effective milk production-supporting foods out there:

• Vegetables: green leafy vegetables, onion, garlic, asparagus, carrots, sweet potatoes, cauliflower, mushrooms, and seaweed
• Fruits: figs, dates, apricots, green papaya
• Nuts and Seeds: raw almonds and cashews, sesame seeds, flaxseed
• Oils: Extra virgin olive oil, organic butter, sesame seed oil, coconut oil, essential fatty acids (EFA)
• Grains and Legumes: quinoa, amaranth, pinto beans, chickpeas, whole brown rice
• Extras: brewer’s yeast, nutritional yeast, green drinks (spirulina, barley wheat grass, alfalfa leaf, oat straw, kelp), ginger

Here are some of our readers’ favorite tips for quick, healthy, easy to-go snacks:

Gina: Trail mix, muffins with veggies/flax/oatmeal, kale, green smoothies

Kate: I like Housepoet’s Famous Lactation Cookies

Stacey: Oatmeal with almonds.  I also keep a large jar of dried fruits and nuts on the counter so I can grab them when I’m on the go.

Kelli: I’ll have something like this (Moroccan Quinoa Pilaf) left over from dinner and add some avocado.  I drink a green smoothie almost everyday, too. 

Monifa: I make oatmeal with cranberries, apples, and raisins in bulk so there’s always some available.  I also love carrot sticks with guacamole, fruit smoothies w/ protein added and granola w/ toasted coconut.  Also I drink a ton of water.

Shannon: We love soups in this house! Caldo de pollo (chicken soup), white bean and ham, white chicken chili or turkey chili.  Soups are easy, you just prep and let them cook on the stove or in a crockpot, and they keep your body nice and warm to support milk production.  Snacks – I like Trader Joe’s Omega Rich Trail Mix or Justin’s Almond butter packs. 

Danielle: Carrots and hummus

Jennifer: Avocado, nut/trail mix

Abby: I love these Raw Energy Bites!

Here are a few of my favorite milk production-supporting snacks: Green smoothies with chia seeds, granola, and nut butter; hummus and veggies, crackers, or whole wheat pita; apples and almond butter; greek yogurt with granola and berries; avocado on EVERYTHING!; homemade trail mix (raw almonds, raw cashews, dried cranberries, dried coconut, dark chocolate, pumpkin seeds); cottage cheese with fruit; hard-boiled eggs.

My friend, Leigh Anne Webster, of 52 Healthy Weeks, recommends: Cut up fresh veggies with hummus or pesto; corn tortilla with lentils and a little bit of cheese; lowfat natural granola with blueberries and almond milk; organic tomato soup; and cheese and crackers with some fruit.

Lastly, here are a few of my favorite websites with highly-nutritious meals that support your milk supply:

Nourishing Meals 

Simple Green Smoothies

Dan Morris’s Pinterest Board

Clean Eating

Help a Mama Out: What to Do When Your Baby Refuses a Bottle

What tricks have worked for you when your breastfed baby refused a bottle?

Michelle La Plante: Bottle boot camp with daddy!  I left the apartment for the day, leaving baby and daddy there with plenty of expressed breastmilk and a bottle.  By the end of the day, they had figured it out.  (Kudos to hubby for this – it was tough on him to see her cry and fuss…. But, then again, his breasts didn’t leak at the sound of the baby crying!)

Amanda Garfinkel Young: Early and often worked well with my second.  With my first, the nanny had a good trick.  She held him facing out, looking out the window and fed him with the bottle in the other hand.  A little awkward, but it seemed to distract him from the fact that he wasn’t looking up at mama while eating.

Danielle Smith: Try lots of different bottles.

Stephanie Lorenzen: After trying a number of different bottles, we used a spoon and a shot glass.  We then moved on to a straw cup after 4 months of age.

Julie Chapin: As a nanny, I went through this.  Had to have mama away at first.  Plus, baby had to be laying or sitting out of arms… could not resemble nursing at all.  First successes were warm bottle given in a drowsy state as baby was waking in her bassinet.  Windows and toys distracting baby at other times or in a bouncy chair.  Had to use droppers and spoon feeding with a few babies leading up to the bottle.

Natalie Quebodeaux Cavender: Sippy cup!  Turns out he hated the warmed milk and not the bottle.  He likes mama’s milk cold when not from the tap!!!  LOL!

Jennie Bever: My first one took a straw cup fine.  Second one reverse cycled.  Now that he’s older, he’ll also take breastmilk warm in a straw cup.  He would also drink out of a regular cup, although it’s a bit messier!

Liz Anderson Weaver: At daycare, we have had to resort to using medicine droppers with two babies.  Then we tried ERERy NIPPLE EVER until we found their perfect bottle combo.  Both suck ‘em down like champs now!

Stacey Singh: I read that if you have the person who is feeding your baby wear the robe or another article of clothing you wear frequently, it can really help.  I had my husband try it and my baby actually did take a little from a bottle.  We’re still working on it though.

Sylvia Padilla Sullivan: We tried different bottles.  Because he is older (4.5mos), one with a pretty fast, easy flow worked better than the ones we had been trying (like when he was tiny and still learning to suck.)

Thanks to everyone who responded to our questions on our San Diego Breastfeeding Center and The Boob Group Facebook pages.  Check back every Tuesday for a new Help a Mama Out tip!

Help a Mama Out: Tips for Breastfeeding the Distracted Baby

Over the past few months I have been posting readers' questions on our Facebook page and have been blown away by the fantastic advice and support you have shared.  The downfall with Facebook, though, is that eventually the terrific advice will work its way down the wall and succumb into Facebook oblivion, never to be found again.  

Well, that's just a travesty!

So, here is what we're going to do....

Each week I will post a topic and question (or maybe a few!) on the San Diego Breastfeeding Center and The Boob Group Facebook pages.  At the end of the week, I will collect all of YOUR fabulous breastfeeding mama advice and tips and place them into a blog post, which I will share the following Tuesday!  Now your breastfeeding expertise and support will be documented and saved for moms to cherish and learn from, even years from now!

So, let's get started.....

'Help a Mama Out' Topic of the Week:

 Tips for Breastfeeding the Distracted Baby

What's Your Best Advice for Nursing a Distracted 8-10 month old Baby?

Gina: Strap toys to bra, like the kind with a loop for a play gym or use a nursing necklace.

Kat: Different things worked for my daughter at that age. Sometimes I would nurse with a cover so she wouldn't get distracted by the environment. A nursing necklace sometimes helped. Sometimes I would sing a song so she would only look at my face.

Yolanda: I sing, hmmm never thought to clip toys to me lol. 

Melissa: Nursing/teething necklace. TONS of patience :-)

Christine: My daughter (who's now 10 months, not a lot has changed since then) loved to hit, pinch, and slap me so I would simply take her hand and hold it and talk to her. Talking to her seems to help her focus because she has one thing to focus on, my voice. I also will position her upright straddling my knee to nurse so she can somewhat look around while she's nursing and then she feels like she's not missing out on all of the way cooler things than eating lunch. Or simply latching her and standing up to walk around with her so she can nurse and still look around at all of the would-be distractions. I find it's better for her to nurse in busy areas where she has lots of things to look at in those ways than nursing in a quiet, dimly lit room because then she'll just do the "fake sucks" and try really hard to listen to noises outside.

Michelle: Dark room and soothing music

Kara: A quiet, out of the way - darker room! From about 7-10 months my first nursling required no distractions whatsoever!

Jennie: Go in a dark room:)

Ria: Read them a book and hold it up so they can see the pictures. Or keep a pile of toys just for that time, toys with different textures and and colors. Works for us.

Katie: In a room away from others/TV...use a nursing necklace. 

Kathy: I always started playing with my son's hands. I would rub them, fold them into a fist, etc. Now he plays with my hair the whole time! :-)

Jessica: I tap on my daughter's leg or arm gently and that helps keep her focused.

Tammy: Tapping the bottom of her feet. All of mine went through periods (just days) where they were not as interested.

Jeni: I found hanging a toy off a necklace helped focus him back towards me and then he played while he ate.

Jona: Patience; reducing distraction by nursing in a quiet, dark room; breastfeeding when baby is sleepy.

Amy:  Babywearing! I'm relearning it 1st hand with my super distractible 9 month old. 
I put him up in a front carry and it helps immensely. Otherwise even in a calm environment he's too busy checking it all out. Wearing him is my saving grace every day and some days the only reason he gets a good milky feed in the daylight hours. I'll stand by it now and forevermore as the 2nd best parenting tool!