Managing a Toddler and a Newborn

This is Kim, Robin’s sister-in-law. I have three amazing daughters, one which was just born 4 days ago. In my 4.5 years of being a mom, I’ve read a fair amount about parenting and have gotten some really great (and some really terrible, uninvited, and/or borderline-criminal) advice along the way. I thought I’d share some of the highlights with you from time to time.

When my second daughter was born, my first was 22 months old. Like most moms adding another child to the family, I was concerned about how I would manage two little ones and how my first would react to a new baby joining our family. I sought out tons of advice and suggestions, and I’ve included the ones I found most helpful below. Now, as a caveat, I think these suggestions are great when the older sibling is a toddler. Some of them probably work no matter what the age, but obviously some will not apply if you have a preschooler or older, or if you’re having your kids super close together. So, try what makes sense to you, and disregard what won’t work - which, incidentally, is my approach to all parenting advice.

Before the baby is born:
Quick summary: Before the baby was born, we had two main objectives: We wanted to make sure that our first child 1) was aware she was getting a new sister and viewed it as a positive experience and 2) had already learned concepts like patience and independence.

Introducing the concept
We wanted our first child to understand that our lives were going to change, but to view this change positively. So, we made sure she was prepared, had some sense of exactly what would change, and knew that her role as big sister was important and appreciated. Here are some things we did:

* Once I started showing, we told my first about the baby coming. She didn’t really understand what we were talking about, but it was good to start getting the thought in her head and introduce her to the idea gradually.

* We talked about the new baby when it made sense, but not constantly. A toddler’s concept of time is different than ours, so spending so much time talking about something that’s not happening for months would most likely have bored, annoyed, and confused her. However, if we saw a baby at the park, I would say, “Your baby sister is going to be small like that!” or “When your baby sister comes, Grandma is going to come visit! Won’t that be fun?” We always kept the conversation positive.

* We got some positive books about being a big sibling and read them every now and then. Our two favorite titles: My New Baby and I’m a Big Sister (also comes in Brother). I really like the first book because it doesn’t have any words. You can make up your own story about what it’s like to have a new baby, and more importantly, you can let your child narrate and get a sense of how they’re approaching becoming a big sibling. I enjoy both books because they are POSITIVE about the experience and don’t assume that the older child will have feelings of jealousy or anger. If that ends up happening after the baby is born, deal with it then. Don’t put the idea in the kid’s head before it’s even a problem!

* We encouraged my first to be a part of the preparations for the new baby. We let her “try out” the bouncy chair and sit in the crib. She picked which books would stay in her room and which would go into the bookcase for the new baby. This will helped foster the idea that being a big sib is an important and fun job, and reassured her that she was still very much a valued member of our family.

Tomorrow’s post will be the continuation of Kim’s journey of managing her toddler and newborn.

Encouraging Independence and Patience:
The fact is that when there’s a newborn in the house, everyone else takes a back seat. Since I was either nursing or attached to a pump for like 80% of the day, I needed my first to be able to entertain herself and do things for herself. However, I didn’t want her to feel displaced by the baby or feel like the baby caused all the changes (even though she basically did). So, we started practicing patience and independence before the baby came. Here are some things we did:

* We introduced and practiced activities that she could do independently, such as drawing, puzzles, and playdough. This way she got used to playing on her own for an extended period of time before it was directly related to me being busy with her sister. If she asked for help, I would kindly redirect her to doing it herself. ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT both before and after baby: when my daughter was doing activities herself, I was always watching and providing specific feedback and praise that let her know I was paying attention and still interacting with her. An example: “Wow, you drew a red truck! Do you want to add some wheels?”

* I started taking a while to do things and asking her to wait. At first, this seemed silly since I could have done when she asked immediately, but again, this was getting her used to the concept of having to wait for things. I didn’t have to frame it negatively. For example, if she asked, “Mommy, can I have some juice?” I would say, “Yes, in one second. Just let me finish this article I’m reading.” Then if she waited patiently, I would be genuinely appreciative (again, with specific feedback): “Thank you so much for waiting. I really appreciate how patient you were.”

* We started working on independent self-care. Anything I could think of that she could do herself, we started practicing. This included: putting on her own shoes, climbing into her carseat and buckling the top buckle, getting cups and utensils herself from a low-level cabinet, filling her own water cup from the fridge. Again, specific and genuine praise whenever possible. “Did you buckle your carseat yourself? Wow, you are such a big girl! I’m really impressed!” My daughter LOVED to do things herself, so this wasn’t a tough sell. And when her sister arrived, she was already well-practiced at these tasks and it saved me a ton of time and energy when I was suddenly trying to take two kids to Safeway.

After the Baby is Born
Quick Summary: After our second was born, our goal was to integrate her into the family while changing our oldest’s life as little as possible. We felt this would minimize any feelings of jealousy and would lead to a strong bond between them. This started when my oldest first came to meet her sister at the hospital and continues today.

At the hospital:
* We had a framed picture of our family of 3 displayed prominently in the room to show our oldest we were thinking of her while we were away.
* When our oldest came to visit for the first time, Grandma came in first and took the baby, then Dad brought our oldest in. That way, when she came in to see me for the first time, my arms were open to hug her and give her attention. Her first visual was not “I’ve been replaced by a baby.”
* We had a present for her on-hand that was “from her sister” (for us it was a book). At first I thought this was totally patronizing to her, but man did she LOVE it! Baby sister made quite the first impression!

At home and beyond:
* We made every effort to keep the normal routine. Big sister still went to school even though I was on maternity leave, and we kept up our regular playdates.
* I wore the baby whenever possible in a baby carrier so that I still had hands free to interact with my oldest. (“Why yes, lady at the park, my boob is out since I’m nursing a newborn in a wrap and using my free hands to help my daughter off the swing! Your point is....”)
* Continued specific feedback and praise for all examples of patience and independence.
* One-on-one time with our oldest as much as possible, both with Dad and with Mom. We wanted to make sure that our oldest felt special for being a big sister, not forgotten.


So, there you have it folks. Again, these are the suggestions and tactics that worked best for our family. Our girls have a great relationship. I could, of course, conclude 100% that it was my “excellent parenting and preparation” that led us to this point, but it’s also possible that we could have done none of this and they’d still be best friends, or we could have done all of it and we’d still be trying to prevent the oldest from smothering the youngest in her sleep. But you have to start somewhere, right?

Laid-back Breastfeeding: Physically and Mentally

Breastfeeding has gotten way too complicated!  As mothers, we second guess everything and voraciously search for advice on the Internet, in books, and from friends and family.  Sometimes we receive unsolicited advice, which is a whole different story!  But, when it comes to breastfeeding, there is so much information out there about what to do and what NOT to do, it can drive a mom batty!

Which pillow should I buy?  
Should I use the cradle hold or the football hold?  
Do I need to start pumping in the hospital?

I was so pleased when I saw this article on the Best for Babes blog entitled, The Latest on Latching.  The gist of this article is this:

• Relaxed breastfeeding!Moms should lay back and relax (think lazy-boy chair)
• Bring your baby onto your chest, with his/her whole body turned to you
• Snuggle your baby to your breast and watch the magic happen

Yes, this may sound too easy to be true and sometime it is.  Sometimes moms are born with babies that need a little extra assistance in the breastfeeding realm.....that's a perfect time to call in a lactation consultant for help.  But, it is worth a try to start off calm, relaxed, positive, and see what your baby can do.  You might be pleasantly surprised!

And you can most likely forget about the nursing pillow.  Bed pillows are cheaper and less complicated.  Just my opinion!

Did you find that the advice you received about breastfeeding made things more complicated then they had to be?  What would you recommend to a pregnant friend to help get breastfeeding off to a great start?

Does Breastmilk Have Nutritional Value After a Year?

Continuing the conversation about unsolicited advice, a friend of mine wrote me an email a few days ago, sharing with me the latest unsolicited advice she received, from a ‘friendly’ neighbor!

“So I have to tell you this because you're a lactation consultant.   I just had someone tell me today that breastfeeding my son at 17 months has no nutritional value for him.  She also told me that I should have stopped at six months, because after that they don't need it and that I'm only doing it for me. 

I was thinking WOW! She doesn't think breastfeeding has nutritional value.  How crazy is that?”

Well, my dear friend, it is just that….CRAZY!  Clearly, this lady has not read any research about breastmilk in the past 10 years or she would know the following…

• "Human milk expressed by mothers who have been lactating for >1 year has significantly increased fat and energy contents, compared with milk expressed by women who have been lactating for shorter periods. During prolonged lactation, the fat energy contribution of breast milk to the infant diet might be significant."  -- Mandel 2005, Pediatrics
• In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
  • 29% of energy requirements
  • 43% of protein requirements
  • 36% of calcium requirements
  • 75% of vitamin A requirements
  • 76% of folate requirements
  • 94% of vitamin B12 requirements
  • 60% of vitamin C requirements  -- Dewey 2001, Pediatr Clin North Am.

But, even beyond that, breastfeeding a child over a year old also has many additional benefits:

• Nursing toddlers are less sick
• Nursing toddlers have fewer allergies
• Mothers nursing beyond one year reduce their risks of breast, ovarian, uterine, and endometrial cancer

Let’s just put it this way….breastfeeding beyond a year is NORMAL!  So keep it up, my friend!  And once again, feel free to use my favorite reply, “How sweet of you to be concerned about me and my baby/toddler/kiddo.  We are doing just fine.”

Why do you enjoy breastfeeding your toddler?

Common Concerns While Breastfeeding - Sore Nipple Therapy for the Breastfeeding Mom

Help!  I Think My Nipple Just Fell Off!

Welcome to our newest blog series…. Common Concerns While Breastfeeding. These aren’t the complicated, ‘come-to-my-house-immediately’ phone calls I receive. Rather, these are the questions that come from clients and friends in the middle of the night, by text or by email, that don’t necessarily warrant a lactation consultation. They can often be easily resolved with a few simple tricks. So, I would like to share those tricks with you! 

12 hours before sore nipples! Painful, sore nipples are the worst thing EVER when you are a breastfeeding mom! My youngest son is almost 5 years old and I can still remember crying every time he woke up to breastfeed that first week of his life.  There are so many horror stories about painful nipples out there that some women are petrified of breastfeeding. 

Well, my friend, let me give you the low down about sore nipples and how to prevent and overcome them!  With a few simple tips, and the support of your ‘circle of breastfeeding support’, you should be able to avoid painful nipples, or at least know how to get your nipples back on track.

Symptoms:

• One side of the spectrum is nipple tenderness. This is normal. When’s the last time you had hours of nipple stimulation in a 24 hour period? My guess is NEVER or NOT SINCE THE LAST BABY WAS BORN.

• Middle of the spectrum is painful feedings with maybe some cracking. This shouldn’t happen, but it could have been the result of a poor latch here and there. Have a lactation consultant or a support group leader take a look, just to make sure.

• The opposite side of the spectrum is bleeding and cracked nipples. RED FLAG!!! This is not supposed to happen. This is your body’s way of telling you that you could use some assistance from a lactation consultant to see what is causing this pain. Don’t wait!

Prevention:

Look at this gorgeous latch!

• Nice wide latch – you don’t need your whole areola in your baby’s mouth, but the latch should be more than just on your nipple.

• Your baby’s lips are flanged like a fish’s mouth

• Don’t push on the back of your baby’s head to bring him/her to the breast. Instead, try a laid-back feeding position. Bring your baby’s torso into yours. His/her head will follow.

Treatment:

• Express breast milk on your nipples after your baby has fed and then let the ‘girls’ hang out for a few minutes.

• Some sort of nipple chapstick: Organic coconut oil, organic nipple cream, etc.

For those breastfeeding parents with cracked and bleeding nipples, you might need to try a few other options

• Hydrogels – wet wound management to place on your nipples in between breastfeeding

• All-purpose Nipple Ointment – can be prescribed by your physician to be made at a compounding pharmacy. This link, from breastfeeding expert, Jack Newman, includes the ingredients to give to your care giver.

• Don’t hesitate to call a lactation consultant! When a baby is latching correctly and his/her tongue is doing what it should, a mom’s nipples should not become cracked and bleeding. A lactation consultant should be able to figure out the cause of your pain and offer suggestions of how to fix the situation, ASAP!

5 Ways to Get Rid of Postpartum Visitors without Offending Anyone: Advice for the mom-to-be

Birthing classes, breastfeeding classes, baby showers, etc.  Everyone wants to be prepared for the arrival of a new baby, especially when it is your first.  But, there is one IMPORTANT point, one DETRIMENTAL point, which most of your class instructors and friends with kids will neglect to tell you. 

Limit the number of visitors you are willing to see each day!

“Why would I do that?” you may ask.  “Don’t I want to have everyone share in the joy of having a new baby?”  “Won’t my family members get upset if they can’t spend every minute with the new baby?”

Let me describe my postpartum scenario for you.  If it not unlike most of my friends’ experiences after the births of their babies as well….that is, until I shared this advice with them.

This is what surviving a 20-hr labor looks like!When my son, Benjamin, was born, he was the first grandchild born on both sides of the family.  He was literally like Simba up on the mountain top being revered in all of his glory.  Family and friends from around the country flocked to our little home in San Diego to meet the first child of the new generation.  I, too, was mesmerized by this little being that I had just birthed a few days before.  

Everyone who came to visit in the hospital and then at our home wanted to hold Ben…. To smell his sweet scent and listen to his sighs as he slept.  As my visitors sat on my couch and relaxed with my sleeping son, what do you think I was doing?  Resting after my 20-hour labor? Napping after breastfeeding all night, with painful bleeding nipples? 

I don’t think so! 

I was sitting on my doughnut (so that my episiotomy stitches wouldn’t rip out), chatting it up with the crowd.  I was making sure everyone had something to eat or drink.  Now, to be clear, this wasn’t expected of me by my guests.  This was self-imposed hostess torture.  I felt it was something I had to do.  Everyone held my sleeping, gorgeous child, until he woke up and started to cry.  Then, it was my turn to hold him, soothe him, and breastfeed him. 

Pure postpartum exhaustionAfter everyone finally went home (a week later), I had an infection from my stiches, a nipple shield I was trying to wean from, and an exhaustion like I had never felt before.  I made a promise to myself then and there that this was NOT going to happen the next time around. 

As I learn from my mistakes (oh, and there are so many since I became a mom), I try to share a few gems so that others won’t succumb to the same mistakes I made.  So, here you go…

5 Ways to Get Rid of Postpartum Visitors without Offending Anyone

1. Decide how many visitors you are comfortable with per day:  Have this discussion with your partner prenatally.  That way you won’t be persuaded after the baby is born (when hormones are topsy-turvy).  You might have to make an exception for family members, but that is up to you.

2. Assign your partner or husband to be the bouncer:  After the baby is born, it is the bouncer’s job to answer the phone, not you!  His/her phone response should be, “We have already had a few visitors today.  Would you like to come tomorrow instead?”

3. Ask visitors to bring dinner: You may laugh at this….my husband did.  But, whenever he asked someone to come another day, the visitor always replied, “Sure. What can I bring?”  Have the bouncer always reply, “Dinner would be great!”  My fridge/freezer was filled for 2 weeks!  It rocked!Time to unwind with my babe

4. Have an exit strategy: Sometimes visitors stay a little bit too long and you may feel weird asking them to leave.  Remember, you need to take care of yourself!  Your body and your baby are depending on it.  As soon as I felt like I wanted my visitor to leave, I said I was feeling a little dizzy and needed to go lay down.  They usually got the hint and headed for the door.

5. Don’t play hostess: Don’t feel the need to cook or clean your house before someone comes over.  Would they expect this if you had back surgery?  No.  So, sit down, snuggle that sweet little baby, and chat for as long as you want to.  Then, use your exit strategy and rest.

Did you limit your visitors after your baby was born? 

How did you limit your visitors without offending anyone?

The Breastfeeding Basket: a little advice for the mom-to-be

A few months ago I came across this ridiculous article written by a very self-righteous mom.  In all of her judgmental glory, the author scorned moms who watched TV and read books while breastfeeding their babies.  She claimed that the act of breastfeeding was a mom’s time to bond with her child and should never be used to catch up on things like Facebook or Oprah.  GIVE ME A BREAK, LADY!!!!  I don’t often comment negatively on other people’s blogs, but this one made my blood BOIL!

As many of my friends know, I spent countless hours watching episodes of Sex and the City in the middle of the night while I breastfed my son.  30 minutes of pure, mindless entertainment saved my sanity during those long middle-of-the-night feedings.  By the time the show was over, I had breastfed my son, changed his diaper, and burped the little puker.  Sure, I could have fed side lying in bed, but Sex in the City was my guilty pleasure and I am not ashamed to admit it. 

Clearly, the author of this infuriating article was a self-imposed martyr (too bad for her kids!) or completely lying.  Either way, her article did nothing to support breastfeeding moms.   Instead its purpose was to initiate ‘mother guilt’, which I definitely don’t need a complete stranger to do for me or for the women that I love. 

Hence the breastfeeding basket….

Since you will be breastfeeding for 30-40 minutes at a time, 8 or more times in a 24 period, don’t you want items near you that will help you pass the time and make you self-sufficient?  I hated yelling down the hallway to my hubby to bring me a snack while I was nursing.   I wanted everything I would need during those breastfeeding sessions to be within arm’s length. 

Stuck on creative ideas?  Here is a list to get you started.

 

Top 10 Things I Put in my Breastfeeding Basket

1. Diapers – babies poop while breastfeeding, so it is good to be prepared.
2. Wipes – self explanatory
3. Burp cloth – my kids spit up all of the time, so this somewhat guarded my clothes from being covered in it all day.
4. Klean Kanteen – so thirsty while nursing!
5. Snacks – you burn 500 calories a day while breastfeeding….you will be starving!
6. TV remote – DVR all of your favorite shows and enjoy.  This is your time to relax as well.
7. I Pad, cell phone, etc. – catch up on phone calls, texts, and anything else to keep you connected to your pre-baby life. 
8. Camera – sleeping babies are so adorable!
9. Magazines – I never had time to read People, Lucky, and In Style before I had kids.  Now I knew what all of the celebrities were doing and the fabulous outfits I would buy when I lost some of my pregnancy weight.
10. Receiving blanket – many babies will fall asleep after breastfeeding.  When this happened, I would just cover my babe up and let him sleep on my chest for a while, soaking in the sweet scent of his little body and enjoy our ‘bonding’ moment.

Ladies, you don’t have to lose yourself once you become a mom!  Bonding with your baby happens continuously throughout the day.  So, take a little time to yourself when you have the chance and NEVER feel guilty if you take a little personal time while breastfeeding your little one!

Also, check out one of my breastfeeding student’s blogs, Hank and Lucy, for wonderful ideas and photos of her breastfeeding basket.  She has much more style than I do!

Our readers would love to know what items will you put (or have you put) in your breastfeeding basket? Please share in the comments!

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s Off to Work We Go…

The time has come. Your maternity leave is slowly coming to an end. Whether you are sad to be leaving your little one for a portion of the day, excited to have some adult interaction, or a combination of the two, it is now time to consider how and what you will feed your baby during this time of separation. I remember feeling somewhat overwhelmed about this whole process. What was my son going to eat when he was away from me? How was I going to stockpile enough breastmilk before my first day back to work? Where was I going to pump while at work? The list went on and on in my mind and made me a little crazy. Yet, once I sat down and made a plan for myself, everything seemed less daunting and more feasible.

Well, ladies, my plan for the next few blog postings is to help make your 'back to work transition' easy and manageable. Are you ready? Here we go:

Starting the Pumping Process

As soon as your baby has gone through his/her growth spurt (around 2-3 weeks old) and if breastfeeding is going well, you can start pumping to get breast milk for bottles and your stock pile. Now you may ask, if I am exclusively breastfeeding, how I am going to have extra breast milk to pump? Well, usually your baby will remove about 75%-80% of your breast milk during a feeding, so there should still be some milk in there to pump out. Also, you may find that there are certain times of the day where you feel fuller, even after your baby has had a full feeding. I found that this time for me was in the morning. Even though I wasn't sleeping THAT much at night, my body was resting and replenishing while I was sleeping.

After our first mid-morning breastfeeding session, I would pump afterwards and save the little I got (usually .5-1oz) in the fridge in a milk storage bag. After pumping at this time for a few days in a row, I had about 3oz in the fridge….a perfect amount of breast milk for my 3 week-old son.

Introducing the Bottle

So, mamas, how do we introduce this first bottle of liquid gold???? Have someone else do it! Yes, you read correctly. Your baby can smell you from practically a mile away (well, maybe not that much!) and will probably have no interest in a bottle if he can have the real boob. Instead, hand your bundle of joy to dad, grandma, etc and immediately leave the room. And wait. And wait. Caution: Do not pump in place of this feeding session until you receive the 'All Clear' that your baby happily drank the bottle of milk and is as happy as a clam. I made the HUGE mistake of pumping as I THOUGHT my hubby was giving our son the bottle. Long story short, my son didn't take the bottle the first day. I had pumped because I thought he was drinking from the bottle. We ended up with a screaming little boy, empty breasts, and a frustrated mama. Moral of the Story: Wait until your baby takes the bottle and then pump in place of the breast feeding session. Now baby is full, mom has empty breasts, and now you have breast milk for your next bottle.

How Often Should I Give a Bottle?

If you are going back to work, I would recommend giving your baby a bottle a few times a week. That way, she/he gets used to going back and forth between bottle and breast and will continue to take a bottle once you return to work.

For a great resource about the different types of pumps and which ones are best for moms going back to work, check out one of my favorite web site: Breastfeeding for Working Mothers. As for bottles, always choose a slow flow nipple that looks most like your own anatomy.

If breastfeeding is still a challenge by 2-3 weeks, please see a lactation consultant before starting this process, as it could cause more difficulties if breastfeeding is not going well.

Making Plans with your Employer

So, now you should have mastered the pump, built a small supply of milk in your freezer, and introduced a bottle to your little one. No problem, right? Next step, get your employer on board for giving you your well-earned break to pump while at work. Sometimes, this is a no-brainer. If you live in a state like California, businesses with more than 50 employees are mandated to give breastfeeding moms pumping breaks and supply a clean, private space to pump (which cannot be a bathroom stall.) Other states do not have such laws in place, so you might be paving the way in your business for you and future breastfeeding moms. Either way, it is helpful to know your rights and how to be proactive to get what you deserve: time to pump so that you have something to feed your breastfeeding baby. Let’s get all of your ducks in a row so that this is an easy process for you.

Reasons Why Pumping at Work is Good for Your Employer

Sometimes it is helpful to have a list of reasons why allowing a mom time to pump at work is beneficial for her employer. Bosses like to look at the bottom line. Here’s a handy-dandy list of reasons to share with your boss:

• A study of multiple companies with lactation support programs found an average retention rate of 94.2%

• One-day absences to care for sick children occur more than twice as often for mothers of formula feeding infants.

• Businesses with lactation support have lower turnover rates, higher employee satisfaction, and additional health care savings.

All of this information, and more, can be found in the Business Case for Breastfeeding: For Business Managers

What You Would Like for Your Employer to Provide

A pumping mom needs very few things from her employer to continue making milk for her baby. Really, all you are looking for is a private, clean space (that is not in a bathroom) with outlets, a comfy chair, and a lock. An optimal break time is about 20 minutes: 15 minutes to pump, 5 minutes for set-up/clean-up. You should be able to take a break every few hours, since you will need to pump as many times as you are missing that breastfeeding session with your baby. It is amazing how efficient you will become in your pumping space. The supplies you will probably have to provide will be a pump/pump pieces and freezer bags (in which to keep your pumped milk.) Some savvy employers may provide a small fridge to keep your milk in and a super comfy space. Others may provide the bare minimum. Regardless, it is your right and you can make it happen!

What Should You Do if Your Employer Does Not Provide Pumping Breaks for You?

Check out your federal rights at the Workplace Support in Federal Law web site. All of your rights are there in front of you. You can make it happen!

Gentle Weaning: What is the Process?

In this second article in our Weaning series, we will start the conversation about how to gently wean your baby and why pacing is so important in this process.  If you are wondering when you will know when to begin weaning your child, check out our last article, What is Weaning and When Should I Wean my Baby?

At what pace should you wean your child?

Very slowly.  The weaning process can take several months, as you want to make sure that both you and your child are adapting well to this new pattern of breastfeeding.  Drop one feeding at a time (for example, from 6 times a day to 5 times a day) and try this out for a week or two. This will give your breasts time to acclimate and hopefully not become too engorged.  This will also allow your child to get used to doing something else, or get his/her nutrition from another source at this time.

This process will most likely take a month to several months; depending on how many times your child is breastfeeding in a 24 hour period.  Remember, weaning can affect you and your child physically and emotionally, so it is best to take your time and wean very slowly.

What are the risks for abruptly weaning?

It is very rare that a mother would have to abruptly wean her child from breastfeeding.  The risks associated with abrupt weaning for the mother could be:

• Breast pain

• Engorgement

• Mastitis

• Breast abscess

There are also risks associated with abrupt weaning for the child.  Remember, breastfeeding is not only a source of nutrition for your child, but also a sense of comfort and bonding.  To suddenly remove this could be very confusing and scary for your child, especially if he/she is still developing his/her sense of attachment and trust.  As with all methods of parenting, it is most respectful and effective to initiate change at a slow pace.

What physical and emotional changes should a mother expect when weaning?

All rights reserved, Susanne Klein photographeAs you begin to drop a breastfeeding session during the weaning process, you may feel fullness in your breasts, which can become uncomfortable.  Here are a few tricks to relieve that fullness:

• Pump or hand express, just to relieve the fullness.  Don’t pump to drain or you just defeated the whole purpose of skipping that breastfeeding session.

• Take a hot shower, which will help you leak a little and may reduce the pressure in your breast.

• Cabbage leaf compresses – good old green cabbage wrapped around your breasts can help to reduce fullness.

• Sage tea – drink sparingly while gently weaning, as it can really tank a milk supply when consumed in large quantities.

Emotionally, your body is going to go through some hormonal changes as you begin to wean.  During the weaning process, prolactin levels begin to drop.  Prolactin not only helps to stimulate your milk supply, but it also provides a sense of relaxation and calmness.  Some mothers may even feel depression after weaning. 

I remember feeling a sense of loss, that I had a difficult time describing, as I was weaning my son.  It was somewhat temporary, but it definitely was there.  I just felt sad that this aspect of mothering and comforting my child was coming to an end.  Something that helped me adapt to this change was creating a different bedtime routine for the two of us.  Instead of nursing my son to sleep, we now read a story together in his rocking chair.  Then, I turned off the light and sang him a song as I rocked him into a state of sleepiness.  My son is now five years old.  At bedtime, we still read a story in his bed and then listen to a song on his IPod as I lie down next to him and snuggle.  It is my favorite time of the day!

Now it’s your turn to share how you paced your weaning process with your child. 

How long did it take you to wean? 

What physical and/or emotional changes did you encounter?

Does traveling cause a dip in milk supply?

A close friend of mine was at a breastfeeding support group recently and was told that many moms see a dip in their milk supplies when traveling with their babies. My friend speculated that this may be a reaction to the stress of traveling with an infant. I told her I would look into this, since I couldn't fathom why traveling would make a mom's milk supply decrease. A mom's milk supply could surely decrease when traveling WITHOUT her infant, but why WITH her infant? After some internet and article searching, I couldn't find any scientific reasons that would cause this phenomenon. But, since a few moms have seen this happen, I thought I would offer some advice on how to make sure that this doesn't happen to you.

5 WAYS TO MAINTAIN YOUR MILK SUPPLY WHEN TRAVELING WITH AN INFANT

1. If traveling by plane, nurse your baby during take-off, landing, and turbulents. This will relieve the pressure in your baby's ears, thereby relieving your stress level.

2. Keep to your baby's regular feeding schedule. If this means you will have to nurse in public, practice before you go on your trip so that you are confident and comfortable. A baby wrap is a great way to nurse discreetly in public.

3. If you plan to go out and have someone else watch your baby, pump before you leave so that you are not full and uncomfortable while away from your baby. A hand pump should suffice for this moderate use.

4. Some babies have a difficult time sleeping away from home, so plan to take a few naps during your trip, so that you can make up for some lost sleep during those restless times.

5. Don't plan too many activities during your trip. Try to keep your stress level down, which will preserve your milk supply, making for a happier, more content baby....maybe even a rested and relaxed mommy!

Happy travels!

Secrets of Baby Behavior

One of the best trainings I have ever attended was taught by Jane Heinig from UCDavis. She teaches a workshop about understanding infant behavior. Check out her department's blog at http://www.secretsofbabybehavior.com/. Great advice for all moms about reading your baby's cues and understanding infant sleep patterns.