American Airlines: Please change your policy about checked pumped breastmilk!

A few weeks ago, the San Diego Nursing in Public Task Force was contacted by Theresa Morawski Pulickal about an incident she needed help resolving with America Airlines.  Theresa has already done an amazing job advocating for herself and almost completely resolved the situation she had with the airlines, but she needs your help to change American Airline's policy regarding transporting breast milk.  She doesn’t want another mother to have to deal with the challenges she dealt with a few weeks ago. 

Here is her story.  

_____

I am trying to change an American Airlines policy after an experience I had traveling from Puerto Vallarta to Phoenix to San Diego a few weeks ago. While in Puerto Vallarta, I pumped breast milk for my child home in San Diego. He was not traveling with me. At the Puerto Vallarta airport I was told by the TSA agents that I could not carry my breast milk on the plane. I tried to tell them that the rules in the US state that it's okay to carry pumped milk onboard the plane and it could be tested, but they gave me a firm ‘NO’. I took my breast milk coolers to America Airlines (AA). I told them I was told to check my breast milk by the TSA agents. The American Airlines ticket agent generated a check bag tag and said it would cost $499MXN pesos. I asked if the could be waived, as it is breast milk. I told them I was not expecting a fee. They said, no, because the baby was not with me and that it was company policy to charge a fee and that he (the AA Agent) didn't agree with it either, but had to charge me.  I paid the fee, as it was very important to me to bring home my milk. I checked the bag to Phoenix. In Phoenix, I spoke to the AA customer service representative. The agent told me that they should not have charged me for the bag in Puerto Vallarta, but he was unable to reimburse at his location. He told me there is no one to call and I would have to make a claim online through the comment/compliant website. I picked up my bag and went through TSA in Phoenix to San Diego with no problem. They looked at my milk and tested the cooler bag. I was allowed to carry on. 

When I got home, I submitted a complaint on the AA website and I posted my experience on Facebook, Twitter, and Yelp. 

The next day I received a call from Jana at AA’s customer relations explaining she was contacting me due to my social media posts.  She reiterated that AA’s policy is that you only get a free bag only if the child is along with you for travel and that milk is not considered a medical necessity so it does not qualify to be free. I asked how I could get the policy changed and she said I had already voiced my concern and it was now being handling internally.  I was offered a $50 voucher (that I did not want) and instead asked her to follow up with the policy change. 

I posted my updated status on Facebook.  Later I received a message through Facebook saying that AA will reimburse me for the bag in 7-10 days.   I wrote back thanking them for the reimbursement, but asked if this could lead to a policy change. I received a generic message saying they appreciated my feedback. 

Last week, I received a formal letter from American Airlines’s customer relations stating that they had done a thorough investigation of my incident.  The letter included this paragraph: “We apologize for the inconvenience caused when you were unable to carry-on your breast milk with you from Puerto Vallarta to Phoenix. Our customer service personnel are expected to be knowledgeable of our baggage policies including information about exempted articles such as medication and other assistive devices. Please accept our sincere apology for our service failure as well as any resulting anxiety or inconvenience this may have caused you.”  I was then offered a full refund for my checked breast milk bag. 

After I received this formal email, I called back to clarify American Airline’s policy and was told by the agent that a fee would still be charged if breast milk is checked because it was not considered a medical necessity.

While I am very appreciative that American Airlines worked so quickly to resolve my incident, I would like to take this opportunity to ask American Airlines to change their baggage policy with regards to checking pumped breast milk.  I am reaching out to other mothers and advocates of breast feeding/pumping/nursing to get this policy changed. I feel that even though my child wasn't with me and TSA wouldn't allow my breast milk to be carried on that American Airlines shouldn't be charging a fee to check pumped breast milk.  I think it should be free, just like a cane, a diabetic’s insulin, or an oxygen tank. To some babies, pumped breast milk is a medical necessity and a mom shouldn’t have to pay to bring it home to her baby. That is what I want to see changed.

Call to action: How you can help!

Let’s see if we can get American Airlines to change their policy on checked breast milk!  Here are some easy ways to have your voice heard:

Post the following message on American Airlines’ Facebook page:

Thank you for refunding a mom’s baggage fee when she had to check her pumped breastmilk due to a TSA mistake.  How about instating a policy update where all moms are exempt from paying a baggage fee if TSA requires them to check their pumped milk with your airlines?  What a great way to support your passengers and their families!

Copy this email and send it to American Airlines’ Customer Relations Department

(Make sure to use these parameters: Topic (Customer Relations), Subject (Complaint), Reason (Other), and when it asks 'Is your comment or concern related to your flight', choose 'No')

Dear American Airlines,

As a breastfeeding advocate, I am asking that you consider updating your policy so that breastfeeding/pumping moms may check their pumped milk on your flights, at no charge.  Whether a mom is traveling with or without her child, she depends on bringing home her pumped breastmilk safely so that she can provide nourishment to her child at the end of her travels.  The benefits of breastmilk are vast and beyond any other substitute, which is why a mom works so diligently to pump and bring home her milk to her child.  While TSA is supposed to allow a mother to carry her pumped milk on board, sometimes TSA agents make a mistake, which require a mother to check her pumped milk.  I am asking you to consider adding pumped breastmilk to your list of items that are exempt from baggage charges, such as a cane, booster seat, or stroller.  Breastmilk is DEFINITELY a medical necessity! This would help your airlines stand out among the others as being supportive of all families and their needs.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Breastfeeding After Breast Reduction - It IS Possible!

Written by Ashley Treadwell, IBCLC

Many women wonder if they will have a full supply after having a breast reduction.  While the basic answer to this question is “we don’t know yet” - there are many factors, as well as things she can actively do, that can affect her ability to breastfeed successfully.  In this article, we will discuss what those activities are and how a mom can maximize her supply when breastfeeding after a breast reduction. We will also look at what long-term supplementation can look like, if it is necessary.

It is important to remind you that breastfeeding does not have to be an “all or nothing” endeavor!  We need to re-define what “success” means when it comes to breastfeeding after a breast reduction. Anytime a woman has a physiological factor that can affect milk supply, we always want her to understand that ANY amount of breastmilk is amazing. Whether she is able to provide 10% or 100% of what her baby needs, she is doing a fantastic job.

What Factors Will Affect My Ability to Breastfeed Exclusively?

An initial factor is how the surgery was performed.  Fortunately, surgeons are currently performing breast reduction procedures in a manner that protects as much of the lactation function as possible - increasing a woman’s chance for breastfeeding later in life.  If a large amount of breast tissue has been removed, or the ducts that deliver the milk to the nipple openings are severed, breastfeeding may be negatively affected. There are many different types of procedures and it isn’t always possible to tell which type was performed by simply noting the shape and placement of a woman’s scars.  If you have had a breast reduction surgery and don’t know the specific type that was performed, the best way to gather this information is to contact the surgeon who performed the procedure.  The most popular surgery performed in the United States is one that is also known to have the best implications for breastfeeding later in life. In this procedure, the areola isn’t completely removed and, therefore, connection between the nipple and breast tissue/ducts is partially protected.  If the procedure involves removing the nipple completely and then surgically reattaching it, your chances of exclusively breastfeeding can be decreased.

Another factor that will affect your milk production is when the procedure was performed.  The longer the time between the birth of your baby and the procedure, the better your chances will be to develop a full milk supply.  Also, your milk supply is likely to increase with each subsequent birth - so if you are not able to exclusively breastfeed a first baby, there is still a good possibility you will be able to with a second or third child!  These factors are each important because with both time and breast stimulation, breast tissue can actually re-grow and re-connect.  This can be very encouraging for first-time moms to hear - that even if they are not able to provide their first baby with 100% of their breastmilk needs, all the hard work they are putting in is likely to pave the way for a larger milk supply with later children.

What Can I do to Maximize my Milk Supply - Before and After my Baby Arrives?

Something ALL moms can do to best prepare to breastfeed a baby (those who have had reduction procedures and those who haven’t!) is to educate themselves prior to the baby’s arrival.  Take a breastfeeding class taught by an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and find out which resources are available in your area.  Free support groups are a wonderful place to get help and support, as well as connect with other moms who are currently breastfeeding.  We encourage women to attend our breastfeeding support groups while still pregnant - it’s a great way to familiarize yourself with breastfeeding women. A breastfeeding class will teach you what normal breastfeeding looks like in the first few weeks - this knowledge can help to reduce a lot of stress and anxiety.

Find an IBCLC who is knowledgeable about helping women breastfeeding after a breast reduction.  Most offer prenatal consults that will specifically address what you can do to maximize your milk production, including different herbs available to help with supply.  And even if you don’t meet with one prior to birthing your baby, she can be there as soon as baby arrives to help, if needed.

Once your baby arrives, the very best thing you can do is to breastfeed that baby constantly!  The more stimulation your breasts receive in the early days, the better your milk supply will be.  Babies feed frequently in the early days - knowing the signs that baby is getting enough are important.  We have great information in a blog post about how to know baby is getting enough in the first week - I’ve Had My Baby, Now What? Breastfeeding During the First Week.

Some signs that baby isn’t getting enough are: baby not gaining weight after the 5th day of life, baby not having the recommended number of pee and poop diapers per day, or baby is well under birth-weight by 2 weeks of age.  If you are experiencing any of these issues, it is important to seek out the help of an IBCLC.

If Long-Term Supplementation is Necessary - What are My Options?

It may be the case that some amount of supplementation is necessary for a woman breastfeeding after a reduction, especially for her first baby.  If this is true - there are many options available.  Whether mom has little to no supply, or close to a full supply, the best way to supplement a baby to establish a wonderful breastfeeding relationship is to feed the baby the additional milk at the breast.  There are supplemental nursing systems (SNS) available that are made for this specific situation - an IBCLC can help a mom learn how to use this.  If mom doesn’t want to supplement baby this way, but does want baby to have time at the breast, she can still feed the baby at the breast and then follow up with another feeding method - like a slow-flow bottle.  If having baby at breast is important to mom, we do recommend that a bottle isn’t introduced until baby is latching well at the breast - some time after week 3.  Prior to then, mom can supplement using a SNS, and then move to some combination of that and a bottle after the baby is 3-4 weeks of age.  Supplementation can either be with mom's pumped milk, donor milk from another breastfeeding mother, or commercial formula. Here is our YouTube video showing one way a mom can supplement her baby at the breast: Supplementation: SNS at Breast

What Resources are Out There to Help Women Who Want to Breastfeed After a Breast Reduction?

Having support and help both before and after the birth of your baby is crucial and can have a lasting effect on your breastfeeding experience.  We encourage all moms, whether they’ve had breast surgery or not, to look for breastfeeding support in their communities.  Women who are breastfeeding after a breast surgery may need additional support and information specific to their unique situation.  One of our favorite places for support is the website Breastfeeding After Breast and Nipple Procedures.  Here you can find links to health care providers in your area who specialize in helping women post breast surgery, as well as a community of women who are in your same situation.  Robin also interviewed Diana West for The Boob Group podcast episode: Breastfeeding After Breast Reduction Surgery.  

Additional Resources:

Defining Your Own Success. Breastfeeding after Breast Reduction Surgery by Diana West.

Using YouTube to Help Achieve Comfortable Breastfeeding Positions

Written by Ashley Treadwell, IBCLC

In the beginning, breastfeeding can feel somewhat awkward and uncomfortable as new moms learn how to get their baby properly latched on.  As an IBCLC, I see a lot of new moms breastfeeding their babies sitting straight up or hunched over, looking very uncomfortable.  Heck, I did this as a new mom myself!  I remember the constant aches in my neck and shoulders from sitting in contorted positions for long periods of time.  Breastfeeding is something moms do very frequently in the early weeks and months - it should be comfortable.

Out of all of the breastfeeding positions, there are two that happen to be our favorite - the side-lying and laid-back breastfeeding positions.  We like these positions for so many reasons - the laid-back position often helps a baby achieve a deeper latch, and both positions are extremely comfortable for both mom and baby and promote lots of rest and relaxation.  This is great for moms as their bodies need good rest to recover from delivery and is great for babies as the best milk transfer often happens during sleepy, calm times.  Sometimes a mom may find that she is having a difficult time replicating these positions on her own - so we decided to provide a video demonstration!  Here are two videos showing the laid back breastfeeding position and the side lying position.  For mom breastfeeding videos, check out our YouTube channel: DIY Breastfeeding!

Breastfeeding Positions: Laid Back Breastfeeding

 

Breastfeeding Positions: Side Lying Breastfeeding

 

What is YOUR favorite breastfeeding position?

Our New Low-Cost Breastfeeding Clinic

Written by Robin Kaplan, M.Ed, IBCLC

My background is in social justice and urban education.  For the years before I started the San Diego Breastfeeding Center, I worked in inner-city elementary schools and for non-profits, including AmeriCorps, to help bring well-deserved resources and education to underserved communities who needed it the most.  Because of this, one of the biggest challenges I have faced since I started SDBFC was trying to figure out how I could make my expertise and support accessible to ALL breastfeeding mothers... not just the ones who could afford my services.  I have seen over and over again local moms posting on Facebook about how desperate they are for breastfeeding help, yet cannot afford to see a qualified IBCLC and this absolutely breaks my heart!  

Not being able to help these mothers goes against everything I have been taught and everything I stand for.  

No one should be denied qualified breastfeeding assistance and support because of their financial situation.  While I have loved offering community-based breastfeeding support groups, when a mom is faced with a complicated breastfeeding situation, it is almost impossible to receive the necessary attention and follow-up when there are 10-20 other moms in the room, who happen to also be looking for their own support.  

When I founded SDBFC, my 5-year plan was to be able to offer reduced-fee consultations to mothers who needed low-cost options.  Well, we just celebrated our 5-year anniversary and I am thrilled to announce our new low-cost breastfeeding clinic!

Here are the clinic details:

At our 90-minute low cost breastfeeding clinic, up to three moms/babies will meet with a lactation consultant (IBCLC) and receive assistance with their breastfeeding challenges.  

 What takes place at the clinic:

• Baby is evaluated for tongue tie and lip tie
• Breastfeeding position and latch are assessed
• Baby is weighed before and after the feeding to see how much breastmilk was transferred
• Mom is given a personalized Plan of Care

Reasons why a mom would want to attend the clinic:

• Baby not latching or nursing well within 24 hours of birth
• Tongue tie or lip tie
• Nipple pain/damage
• Baby is gaining weight too slowly
• Mom feels like she doesn’t have enough milk
• Nursing multiples
• Nursing a preemie
• Recurrent plugged ducts/mastitis

Requirements: Mom qualifies for WIC, baby has MediCal, or mom or dad must be active duty military.

Cost: $25 

Registration: Mandatory, as space is limited to 3 moms per clinic (www.sdbfc.com/consultations)

My sincere hope is that this is just the beginning of SDBFC making connections with more local communities by providing judgment-free, affordable breastfeeding support for any mom who needs it!  We have many more plans in the works and we are excited to get started!

If you have any local connections to organizations that work with low-income pregnant or new moms, please send me an email (robinkaplan@sdbfc.com) so that I can send them information about our new clinic! 

Join Our Nursing in Public Task Force

Are you passionate about protecting a mother's right to breastfeed in public?

Are you curious about what the San Diego Nursing in Public (SDNIP) Task Force does to resolve NIP harassment incidents?  

Do you want to become more involved with the SDNIP Task Force?

Do you want to learn how to start your OWN local NIP Task Force?

Well, look no further!

On January 15, 2015, from 4-4:30pm PST, we will host our first SDNIP Task Force Town Hall Meeting on Google+ Hangout On Air. During our Town Hall meeting, we plan to:

• explain the steps in which a mother can resolve a NIP harassment incident
• enlist a group of core volunteers to assist with supporting local NIP victims and expanding the SDNIP Task Force resources
• provide information for others who wish to start a Nursing in Public Task Force in their own communities.  

We will be collecting questions prior to the event, so please post your questions on our Event Page.

If you are unable to watch the Town Hall Meeting live, we will also place its recording on our website and YouTube channel the following day. 

Who knows…. Maybe joining our town hall meeting will inspire the nursing in public advocate deep inside of you!

Do you know someone who might be interested in learning more about the Nursing in Public Task Force?  Feel free to share this information on Facebook, Twitter, Google +, or by good old email!

Join the Normalize Breastfeeding Campaign

The San Diego Breastfeeding Center is so excited to announce that we are the newest local sponsor of the Normalize Breastfeeding Campaign, a project who's mission is to normalize breastfeeding and address the taboo of public breastfeeding in modern society, through photography.  

Vanessa Simmons, a Ghanaian-American photographer,  mother of three, and founder of NormalizingBreastfeeding.org, started her breastfeeding awareness media campaign in June 2014 by posting photos of breastfeeding women on social media.  Now with over 7,200 Facebook followers, 50 volunteer social media admins, and a website, Vanessa has launched a Kickstarter campaign to raise money for her Normalize Breastfeeding OB/Pediatrician and WIC Offices book.  The content of the book will be a collection of stories from the women who Simmons photographs and from the stories featured on her blog. She will be sharing her own breastfeeding stories in greater detail, as well.  The money raised through the Kickstarter campaign will fund expenses for Simmons to travel to cities and towns, throughout the United States, to photograph the many ways that breastfeeding is 'normal.'  

So, what does 'normal breastfeeding' include?  

Pretty much everything, which is why we are so passionate about helping Vanessa raise this money!  We can't wait to see more photographs of breastfeeding mothers of color, mothers breastfeeding preemies, mothers using supplemental nursing systems, exclusively pumping moms, tandem nursing moms, breastfeeding in public, and moms nursing their toddlers and preschoolers!  AND, we cannot wait to get these Normalize Breastfeeding books into OBGYN, Midwife, and Pediatrician offices, hopefully inspiring mothers to find themselves in these photographs, making breastfeeding more accessible and creating a new definition for 'normal breastfeeding.'  

How can YOU help?

Join us today to help normalize breastfeeding by donating to the Normalize Breastfeeding Kickstarter Campaign!

We’re Moving to Hillcrest!

After two wonderful years at our University Heights office and FOUR years at Baby Garten Studio, the San Diego Breastfeeding Center is moving to a brand new location!

In our new Hillcrest office, we will now have in-office consultations FIVE days a week, as well as our popular Wednesday breastfeeding support group… all in one location!  Plus, all of those lactation supplements you’ve had to order on Amazon or pick up at Sprouts will now be sold at our office for your convenience.  It is truly your one-stop shop for judgment-free breastfeeding support.

So, starting December 1, 2014, our new office and Wednesday support group address will be: 

 

3355 4th Ave.

San Diego, CA 92103

As always, our free Wednesday breastfeeding support group will take place from 12:30pm-2pm, just now in the classroom in our brand new space.  Just as in South Park, there is plenty of street parking.  Stroller parking is limited, so consider wearing your baby from your parking spot to the group.

Starting December 1, 2014, you can book an in-office breastfeeding consultation, Monday through Friday, through our online booking system.  We will continue our in-home breastfeeding consultations, as well… just give us a call to schedule one of those.

We want to express our sincere gratitude to Baby Garten Studio and Mother to Mother Midwifery for housing our office and support group for so many years.  We will miss being in those beautiful locations, but are extremely excited to be able to expand our services and provide more availability for our moms and babies!

Happy Thanksgiving and see you in Hillcrest in December!

It's Here! Our DIY Breastfeeding YouTube Channel

Ever wish you could actually watch a mama breastfeed her baby in a laid-back position because you couldn't picture it in your mind from the blog article you just read?  Wonder how you can tell if your pump flanges are fitting correctly? Well, look no further!

Today, we are beyond excited to annouce our newest baby, DIY Breastfeeding!  

 

What is DIY Breastfeeding?

On our DIY Breastfeeding YouTube channel, you will find 2-3 minute instructional videos about different breastfeeding topics, ranging from positions to latching to pumping and more!  Each video was recorded with one of our lactation consultants and some super cute local moms and babies.  

Which topics will be included on DIY Breastfeeding?

A few months ago we started collecting video topics from all of you and your ideas were AWESOME!  We are proud to say that today we are launching our channel with 10 stellar videos fitting into 5 different categories. Here are our current categories:

• Breastfeeding While Babywearing
• Latching
• Breastfeeding Position
• Pumping Strategies
• Breastfeeding Twins

Lastly, we would like to share a HUGE amount of gratitude to our DIY Breastfeeding partner, New Mommy Media!  Without Sunny's awesome video shooting and editing expertise, these videos would look completely amateur and out of focus!  Sunny, we adore you to pieces and we cannot wait to create more videos with you!

So head on over to DIY Breastfeeding!  Let us know what you think about the videos and share your ideas for additional topics/categories you would like for us to include.

Which other topics/categories would you like to see included? 

It’s All About the Boobs!

Written by Ashley Treadwell, IBCLC

We hear so much about the benefits of breastfeeding for baby - the amazing immunity they get, the perfect nutrition, the bonding with mom.  We also hear a lot about the benefits of breastfeeding for moms - the output of good hormones, reduced risk of breast cancer, weight loss!  But what about the benefits of breastfeeding that specifically affect the partner?  We asked our fans for their ideas and here are some of the answers we got!  

• Hillary: The ability to hand over a fussy baby and say "here, he wants boob" and walk away.

• April: They don't have to wash bottles either, or wake up in the middle of the night.

• Colleen: The diapers are less unpleasant to change.

• Elisabeth: Cost. That's a big one. Formula is expensive! The health problems later could potentially cost money too.

• Julie: The satisfaction of knowing that you're doing the best thing for your child. My husband was very active in working with me on positioning and latching early on and when we lay in bed to nurse to sleep, he lays with us. Most nights she pops off several times to play with him. Dads can definitely be a participant in breastfeeding!

• Anna Mar: Big boobs

• Megan: The benefit of watching the mother of your child show ultimate love and patience toward their baby. Breastfeeding is such a extraordinary part of what us women do for their world. We have the capability to give the best nutrients to another life. That's such a miracle in itself that it is a learning time for the partner to see. The woman is giving of her love, time and energy. Such a sacrifice and that's very much a reason for the partner to strengthen their relationship!

Here are just a few more from us!

• A happy wife!  Breastfeeding releases the hormone oxytocin, which is often called the “mothering” hormone.  It helps to decrease blood pressure and stress, which makes a mama happier, which makes life a lot easier for her partner, as well.  

• Birth Control.  If dad is nervous about having another baby soon, exclusive breastfeeding can act as a natural birth control.  No condoms or pills needed!  (Note - there are specific instances when breastfeeding can and cannot be used as an effective form of birth control - as mentioned here.)

• You can soothe your baby when your wife can’t. Sounds strange, right?  But often, in the early weeks and months, a baby grows fussy the minute mom picks him/her up, as he/she smell mom’s milk and wants it.  When mom hands that fussy baby over to her partner, the baby often calms down immediately!  This could mean a lot of fuss-free snuggle time for dad and mom.

It goes without saying - breastfeeding is good for the entire family!  

Ease Up on Yourself

Written by Ashley Treadwell, IBCLC

Picture it: You’re having coffee with a good friend and she’s confiding in you about her guilt over not knowing her son had a double ear infection when he was running a fever recently.  He wasn’t pulling at his ears or crying when she laid him down.  He ran a fever for a few days, but had no other symptoms, and when she took him into his pediatrician, they diagnosed a double ear infection and prescribed antibiotics.  Your friend is feeling awful that she waited a few days to take her baby in.  She’s calling herself a bad mom.  

What’s your response?  

You tell her that she IS a bad mom, that she should have known that more was going on with her baby, even though he wasn’t showing any signs that he was in pain.  She obviously doesn’t have the instincts it takes to be a good mom.  You’d probably even tell her that her child would be better off if he was parented by someone else.

Right?

OF COURSE NOT.  

We would NEVER say these words to a friend.  Why?  Because they’re aggressive, mean, and meant to tear someone down.  And most of all…. because they aren’t true.  We would never say these words to a friend for fear of hurting her.  So why are we so quick to treat ourselves this way?  Don’t we deserve the same gentleness and support our friends do?

From the moment my first was born, a heavy layer of guilt settled over me - and breastfeeding was the first manifestation of this new guilt.  Breastfeeding hurt.  I mean, *really* hurt.  By the time I left the hospital two days after my daughter was born, my nipples were cracked and bleeding, and I was having anxiety attacks every time she began to show hunger signs.  Because of this, I made the decision to pump my milk and feed it to her in a bottle.  I had failed.  I had failed to do the one thing I was meant to do as a new mother.  I didn’t want to take her out of the house, in fear that she’d get hungry and people would see me feed her a bottle, and know that I had failed.   

Looking back, I realize the amount of dedication and perseverance it took for me to strap myself to that pump, every 3 hours, around the clock, so that I could feed my baby my breast milk, but at the time, I could only see my shortcomings, my weakness.  Looking back, I remember the sheer and overwhelming devotion I felt for my baby - she filled up my every day.  I was an amazing mother.  Her every need was met.  I look back at myself, almost 7 years ago, and wish I had half the patience and gentleness I did then.  I hadn’t failed at all.

The thing is, almost 7 years later, I still feel like I’m failing. Every time the television goes on so that I can cook dinner (which is sometimes (often) frozen fish sticks), or I find myself screeching at my girls to ‘hurrrrry up!’ as our hectic morning rages on.  Every time I cut a chapter in half at bedtime because I’m too worn out to read the entire thing, and especially every time I hear my oldest daughter’s loud, disgusted sigh - that she learned from me.  I feed my kids non organic fruit.  I spend too much time on my iPhone.  I let them eat Otter Pops.  In my mind, I’m a complete and utter failure at the one job I was built to do.

But you know who I need to hear from?  Myself, 7 years from now, looking back.  She will remind me that every day, before my kids went to sleep, I laid in bed with each of them and snuggled them.  That my girls went to bed every night with the comfort that comes with being loved completely.  That I was totally devoted to both of them, and their every need was met.  And I have something to say to this woman - myself in 7 years.  I want to thank her for her reassurance, and then I want to tell her “Ease up on yourself.”